20 tips to more effectively parent boys

Boys can be gentle and good--if we allow them to be.

The prospect of raising boys in a patriarchy feels daunting when we consider everything we’re up against. The truth, though, is that every child is an individual. If you treat your child as such, rather than viewing your parenting as a massive fight against patriarchy, you’ll find it much less overwhelming. The truth is that we can never attain perfection. But if you can do a small part to make the world better, then that gift extends to the next generation, who can improve more. Activism only ever happens over time, in community, intergenerationally.

Similarly, the prospect of writing the Definitive Guide to raising boys feels impossible. So that’s not what I’ve done. Overwhelming you accomplishes nothing. Instead, this post assembles some quick tips for making things a little better, and some parenting strategies for the long-term. I hope you’ll take what you need, without indulging one sliver of guilt or self-loathing.

This is an installment of my new, limited-run, daily series, Feminist Parenting. This series will feature reflections on parenting in a more liberatory way, as well as practical guidance on topics such as raising boys, resisting sexualization, and more. This is a bonus for paid subscribers, and I’ll still be keeping up with my usual editorial calendar on top of it.

Find other installments in this series here. You can also find other feminist parenting advice here.