Love that you have these wonderful book recommendations on bookshop! How did I miss this? May I suggest adding this one? How to Raise a Feminist Son...I'm really enjoying it...
I lived in Japan for 6 years, but I was single at the time. I met a lot of friends who are Filipinos like me, but are married to Japanese men. What Abigail described is true. If you’ve seen some of the Japanese shows, kids are expected to be able to take the train, run errands, because it’s a fairly safe country. I could walk there at night and not worry about being mugged. When you’re pregnant, you can get a sticker that lets people know you are pregnant so they can give up their seats when commuting. Mothers are expected to bring children to social events, in restaurants or karaoke places. However, there’s also this expectation that mothers don’t rejoin the workforce. While I’m not Japanese, I had to conceal my personal life at work. One day, I was asked by my superior if I was planning to get married soon. I was informed by my peers that the company can fire me anytime and as a gaijin (foreigner), there aren’t many protections . I have a longer story of being harassed by two employers there.
A lot of Japanese women also prefer to be single and childfree. I’ve had some Japanese women tell me that they would prefer to date foreigners as the men there are usually workaholic.
I am so disappointed of how you were treated in the workforce. It sounds about like how it still is in the United States, when they can get away with it
Even now, as far as mothers being welcome to bring children to social events of any kind or restaurants, at least in my area(Southern United States) mothers are generally NOT welcome to bring children, with the exception of fast food and places geared toward kids like Chuck E. Cheese or childrens' matinees.
I have never understood why mothers of young children seem to be blamed and even vilified for the very existence of their children in public , while the fathers are seen as heroes if they bring a child ANY WHERE AT ALL! "Oh look! What a great dad! He brought his children to the country club for lunch! I wonder where their mother is that he had to "babysit" instead of rightfully enjoying his filet mignon and playing a game of golf after?"
Down here, fathers "babysit" their own children, which is infuriating and absurd. It was only out of absolute necessity and as a last resort that my father ever "babysat" my two sisters or me. Mother had to be in the hospital or on a very short important errand and unable to get a baby sitter for him to "baby sit", but even then we had paid baby sitters whenever possible WHILE HE WAS AT HOME.
Love that you have these wonderful book recommendations on bookshop! How did I miss this? May I suggest adding this one? How to Raise a Feminist Son...I'm really enjoying it...
https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-raise-a-feminist-son-a-memoir-manifesto-sonora-jha/849831c32d52f13f?ean=9781632174109&next=t&utm_source=google&utm_medium=pmax&utm_campaign=16243454879&utm_content=&utm_term=%7Bsearchterm%7D&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=16235479093&gbraid=0AAAAACfld41mHGdFuBrXwg3qjvSTO8h4r&gclid=CjwKCAiAmp3LBhAkEiwAJM2JUCwj_p2OOUXOLEZLUa9c9l97cdJyIzoRsScX0pqe7cyWgvb9bAIhghoCz4oQAvD_BwE
Will definitely check this one out! thanks for the rec!
I lived in Japan for 6 years, but I was single at the time. I met a lot of friends who are Filipinos like me, but are married to Japanese men. What Abigail described is true. If you’ve seen some of the Japanese shows, kids are expected to be able to take the train, run errands, because it’s a fairly safe country. I could walk there at night and not worry about being mugged. When you’re pregnant, you can get a sticker that lets people know you are pregnant so they can give up their seats when commuting. Mothers are expected to bring children to social events, in restaurants or karaoke places. However, there’s also this expectation that mothers don’t rejoin the workforce. While I’m not Japanese, I had to conceal my personal life at work. One day, I was asked by my superior if I was planning to get married soon. I was informed by my peers that the company can fire me anytime and as a gaijin (foreigner), there aren’t many protections . I have a longer story of being harassed by two employers there.
A lot of Japanese women also prefer to be single and childfree. I’ve had some Japanese women tell me that they would prefer to date foreigners as the men there are usually workaholic.
I am so disappointed of how you were treated in the workforce. It sounds about like how it still is in the United States, when they can get away with it
Even now, as far as mothers being welcome to bring children to social events of any kind or restaurants, at least in my area(Southern United States) mothers are generally NOT welcome to bring children, with the exception of fast food and places geared toward kids like Chuck E. Cheese or childrens' matinees.
I have never understood why mothers of young children seem to be blamed and even vilified for the very existence of their children in public , while the fathers are seen as heroes if they bring a child ANY WHERE AT ALL! "Oh look! What a great dad! He brought his children to the country club for lunch! I wonder where their mother is that he had to "babysit" instead of rightfully enjoying his filet mignon and playing a game of golf after?"
Down here, fathers "babysit" their own children, which is infuriating and absurd. It was only out of absolute necessity and as a last resort that my father ever "babysat" my two sisters or me. Mother had to be in the hospital or on a very short important errand and unable to get a baby sitter for him to "baby sit", but even then we had paid baby sitters whenever possible WHILE HE WAS AT HOME.
It's always a treat to wake up to a new episode of the pod. This was a great one.
Thanks for this, Zawn. I look forward to reading Abigail's work.