Bad Advice Friday: There is always a pile of dishes in our sink, and I'm doing way more than my fair share.

This month's bad advice from another columnist instructs a woman that, if her husband doesn't do the dishes, she should just do them herself. Because women's time is trivial of course.

It’s time for Bad Advice Friday—your monthly installment of terrible advice from other advice columnists. I started this spinoff of Feminist Advice Friday when I realized that other advice columnists gleefully accept the notion that women’s time doesn’t matter and that most problems mothers face are their own fault.

This month’s column is an excellent example. Michelle Herman over at Slate (second letter down) advises a woman who says that she does 80% of the household labor while her partner does 80% of the dishes. And he sucks at this tiny chore, because he leaves piles of dishes in the sink each day, and only washes them when the sink is overflowing. So the family never has a clean sink. Meanwhile, our exhausted reader is also taking on almost all of the childcare tasks, and Prince Charming’s response is to…

Wait for it…

Criticize her for not asking for more help, while also insisting that cleaning isn’t really necessary.

Sound familiar? It’s like he took a course on gaslighting and male bullshit, and decided he was going to ace both in his marriage.

The advice columnist’s predictable but disappointing response is to tell her to lower her standards.

Because of course the problem is unreasonable women and their ridiculous expectation that their homes not be crawling with bugs eating off of the pile of dishes that’s been sitting in the sink for days.

So here’s my advice:

The first thing I zeroed in on in the letter was this line: “I feel like I hate him (which I don’t).”

Are you sure about that? Because here is what I know so far about your husband:

• He expects you to care full-time for his baby, and to be met only with criticism for not telling him how to do it.

• He tells you the work you do is unnecessary, and mocks you for doing it.

• He expects you to do far more housework and childcare than he does, presumably because he thinks your time doesn’t matter.

The rest is just window dressing on the standard abusive marriage.

Yes, that’s right. I said abuse. He’s lobbing a bunch of bullshit at you to obscure what’s really going on. He’s telling you cleaning isn’t important. He’s weaponizing incompetence. He’s refusing to parent. And he’s allowing you to run yourself ragged while pretending that it’s not happening and that it doesn’t matter, because nothing you do is important.

And you want to reassure us you don’t hate him because we tell women that having any reaction at all to their partner’s behavior makes them unreasonable and crazy.

I don’t care if you hate your husband, though. Because if we look at things objectively, it sure seems like he hates you.

What is this guy contributing aside from pain? You deserve better, because being treated like a human being whose work and time matters is the bare minimum.

Throw the whole man away.