Confronting how your romantic relationship(s) affect(s) your children
The relationships we model create a powerful template. But no matter how your romantic life looks, there's still plenty of room to teach kids healthy lessons.
This is an installment of my new, limited-run, daily series, Feminist Parenting. This series will feature reflections on parenting in a more liberatory way, as well as practical guidance on topics such as raising boys, resisting sexualization, and more. This is a bonus for paid subscribers, and I’ll still be keeping up with my usual editorial calendar on top of it.
Find other installments in this series here. You can also find other feminist parenting advice here.
Your romantic relationship(s) will become your child’s template for future romance. But what that actually means varies greatly from child to child. Some children normalize everything they see. Others reject it all. And now matter how your child feels about your romantic relationship, that relationship affects them—for better or for worse—right now.
The tragedy is that in patriarchy, romantic relationships are rarely a freely chosen decision. Men conceal their misogyny. Women go into relationships without knowing what awaits. And by the time they find out, it’s often too late to leave.
This means that just leaving may not be an option. If you’re not in a romantic relationship, though, it’s incredibly important to be mindful of how entering one may affect your child.
No matter where you are in your romantic life, confronting how your romantic relationships affect your children is crucial to good parenting. Here’s what I think that looks like.