Cruelty is the norm in American parenting. We have to do better.

A story about how I ended up attending kindergarten, why sexism undermines so many mothers' efforts at gentle parenting, how mainstream parenting practices beget abuse, and more.

Note: This is part of a new series for paid subscribers only. I’ve long wanted to talk a bit more about my personal life and parenting, but didn’t want it to be easily available to everyone. So I’ll be publishing some more personal essays over the next couple of weeks. Probably on Tuesdays, but maybe at random intervals. I find that just reading about others’ parenting struggles sometimes makes me feel less alone. I hope the same is true for you. I don’t know if my readers will like this or not, so I welcome your feedback.

My kindergartner doesn’t want to go to school.

It’s a problem we’ve been dealing with for six months now. Spend a little time in mom groups and parenting advice circles and mainstream parenting magazines and you’ll get the same advice: Set clear boundaries. Make her go to school. Don’t let her control things. Be firm.

Oh?! So I should be firm? Not a pushover you say? OMG so brilliant!