Here's what your male partner will probably do when you try to leave. And here's how you can prepare.

Abusive and entitled men rely on the same playbook--and their reactions are entirely unoriginal. Knowing this can help you plan a safer exit.

Patriarchy destroys men’s ability to be fully human. That’s because full humanity demands acknowledging that other human beings are fully human, too.

In an aggressively misogynistic society, men lose the ability to see women as fully human. While women are the primary victims, this behavior hurts men, too. Over time, they lose the ability to build meaningful relationships, as well as the skills necessary to repair broken relationships.

If you leave your abusive, low-value, or controlling husband, he will most likely want you to stay; that’s because marriage strongly advantages men, and finding a new woman-appliance is not easy. But men are not taught to actually listen to women, let alone value their needs.

So rather than listen to you or consider whether he needs to change, your partner is far more likely to follow the manipulative scripts patriarchy has taught him. He’ll repeat these scripts without even really thinking about them, because one of the most significant ways patriarchy harms men is by blunting their critical thinking skills.

There’s another side to this behavior, though: Women are conditioned from birth to respond to it. If, however, you know what he’s likely to do, what it means, and how to respond, his bad behavior is far less likely to drain you, guilt you, and lure you back. You will also be less vulnerable to the lie that his bad behavior evidences his love for you, or his plan to change.

Men may move in and out of these stages, skipping over some and repeatedly returning to others.

You are not alone. Millions of other women have navigated this process, and realized that their husbands are not loving, long-suffering men, but abusive misogynists who are only parroting what patriarchy has taught them to do.

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