How can I approach women without scaring them? Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus

A man wants to ignore the rules and pretend that's not what he's doing.

A reader asks…

I’m single and in my twenties. I was raised in a patriarchal household, and have spent the last several years trying to unlearn all of the terrible things I was taught. I want to be a good partner. I do not want to scare or exploit the woman I end up with.

But how do I find her?

I see women I’m interested in in public all the time, but I don’t want to scare them. I also don’t want to miss out on a romantic opportunity.

Is there a recipe for showing a woman I’m not a threat?