How can I prepare for motherhood? Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus
A reader wants to know what she can do to make motherhood a positive experience.
A reader asks…
I am a 25 year old who has been reading about the realities of motherhood under patriarchy from different perspectives (financial, medical, psychological, etc.) and motherhood seems like a challenging and fulfilling pursuit that is incredibly dangerous, taxing, shamed/judged and underappreciated or supported culturally.
Despite all my research, I am confident that I will more than likely decide to raise children. Do you have any advice on how to best plan to become a parent, specifically a mother, especially financially?
I know that a woman's reproductive years are when the gender pay gap comes most fully into force while her expenses also exponentially increase; I have researched the average cost of raising children and it is scary! So, I am thinking about setting up a "motherhood fund" for myself. I hope that I will be supported by a partner (if I manage to find a non man-baby who won’t drain 20 years off of my life or leave me debilitated by autoimmune diseases) and a family/community but I have decided to plan knowing that I can't take those support systems as a guarantee.
What practical advice would you have given yourself to prepare to raise children? Is there anything I could do now to make motherhood easier and more enjoyable for myself? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.