How do I get my young relative to recognize the abuse in her relationship? Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus
A reader wonders how to rescue a relative before it's too late.
A reader asks…
I recently got to meet a young relative’s boyfriend (not my daughter; think extended family). My Inner Wisdom knew that he is NOT a Good Man. I know that Good Men exist. I’ve met them. This one is nothing like them. She broke up with him, but she went right back to him, but I’m unsure why. He is abusive.
This guy routinely drinks sufficiently to black out.
He also has a young child, who I think is part of the draw for my relative. In this lovely little boy, she has someone in her life over whom she has influence and control, for whatever that’s worth.
She is living with this absolute disaster of a human being and has even spoken about buying a house with him.
I just wish I could prevent what seems highly likely to be a very painful preventable experience for her and I know that some of us need to learn not just from the experience of others, but experientially.
How can I help her? Is there a way to stop this from getting worse?