I can't trust my parents with my kids--or can I? Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus
A reader wonders if maybe she can occasionally leave her kids with emotionally abusive grandparents.
A reader asks…
I grew up in a really dysfunctional family. My parents never hit me, but there was all kinds of emotional abuse. And now, there’s an additional layer that they undermine my parenting and I don’t really trust them to follow safety rules with my kids (not giving choking hazards, using carseats, etc.) They have also never apologized for the ways they mistreated my sister and me, and they often tell me I’m too soft and permissive as a parent.
Still, I sometimes use my parents for childcare. They adore my children and my children adore them. It feels awful to tell them they can’t be alone with my kids, and embarrassing to admit that this is my family situation. I see friends traveling and leaving kids with grandparents, and wonder why I can’t do the same.
Am I overreacting? I know my parents would never deliberately hurt my kids, and I really want to give them the chance to be grandparents.