Men and women are not different species and do not have different types of brains. But men will happily admit to inferior brains if it means they don't have to do the dishes.
So men tell us their brains are inferior to women’s when it comes to the domestic sphere. But then they tell us they have superior brains in the paid work sphere? We need to point out this hypocrisy at every opportunity.
My late husband always said he “didn’t see mess” and his ability to do just one thing was astonishing. He would go and make a cup tea for us both. And that was what he did - much like your example of the glass of water. Kettle filled, kettle boiled, water in teapot, milk in mugs, pour tea. If I made the tea, I’d be putting any crockery from the draining board away, wiping down the kitchen surfaces, looking to see if we had enough bread for our sons’ packed lunches the next day….
Sometimes I would ask him to do a simple job when he was off work and I wasn’t. I’d get home and he wouldn’t have done it. The amount of times I would say “One job! I asked you to do one job and you didn’t do it”. “Oh, I forgot”, he would reply. It really pains me to think that this was deliberate. He would, if he were still here, probably insist that it wasn’t. But he was a mental health nurse. He ran a whole hospital at one point. He could have done it if he really wanted to. He insisted I could have it all. What he really meant was I could do it all.
And I don’t miss him any less. It was just the way things were.
Why I have no interest in ever sharing a household with a man ever again. I have a (very) few good male friends who are capable of these things and we do mutual aid/information swapping in areas where our skills don’t overlap, which is great. If men are going to plead this level of incompetence en masse then they are basically just building a strong case that they should not be in charge of anything important ever.
Men claim total competency in everything they do and then turn around and feign complete ignorance only in situations where there’s some sort of accountability for their actions. Competent insofar as someone isn’t trying to hold them to their actions or inactions, then they seem to have the stonewalled “I don’t know, I don’t understand” switch.
It’s always the men who claim absolute competency who have this switch too. They know exactly what they’re doing.
Yes! I have started using this response. "Oh, men can't multitask? I guess we shouldn't allow them to be CEOs or heads of state then!" "Men can't be expected to do anything for their daughters, like buy clothes, do hair, buy tampons, provide emotional support? I guess they shouldn't be allowed custody of their children then. You're right!"
It leads to confused sputtering and is quite satisfying.
I always thought this and never realised it was misogyny at work. I never understood why a ‘man’ couldn’t do what women could ‘do’. Sure, women (now) get told we can do what men do, but no one tells men now that they can do what women do. And it shows.
Hah. Funny. Twenty years ago, I had an "extreme male brain", because that was the prevailing pop "science" of what autism was back then. This, of course, meant that all of the neurosisters whom I should have grown up with have all gone completely overlooked until well into adulthood, while I got to watch my neurobrothers treat me as less and less human, and more and more like an object and a canvas to project their frustrations upon, as time passed and they received their patriarchal programming. They were not fucking like that as young boys, but those were the men many have grown into. That's patriarchy, not autism, at work.
And yet, now the fact I have basic situational awareness means I have a "female brain". No. If I had ignored everyone's moods except my own while I was trapped in my family of origin, I would never have survived to escape them because then I wouldn't have been able to anticipate my abusers' actions based on their moods and plan ahead of them. I wouldn't have survived my abusive rapist husband, either, who himself decided that he should not be expected to pay attention to my needs or our cats' needs. (The litterboxes were his job, but I was the one who recognized one of the cats needed a box with a low entryway, while his 'solution' was to verbally abuse my poor ESA cat, who is middle-aged with FIV and should not be expected to have the same needs as a young healthy cat like his own, for being 'lazy'. This ultimately cost us our deposit on the apartment. )
(Ftr, I am an AFAB intersex non-binary trans man. Not the first time I've said that here, but I don't expect anyone to keep track of a random commenter's origin story. )
Also, in order for a man to be able to go straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water, somebody had to have emptied the sink, washed the cups, and put them away in the cupboard. I bet you this example man would have seen dirty dishes just fine if there were no clean cups to drink from. And promptly blamed his wife despite himself having dirtied the majority of those cups to begin with. Ask me how I know. Or don't because you already know how I know.
Agreed on the last point. Let’s take that lazy argument about different brains to its logical conclusion shall we? Perhaps then men with simple spotlight brains should not be trusted with managing complex organizations and situations such as leading a corporation or a country, developing government policy or managing international relations. These tasks should be left to the female floodlight brain which can synthesize and manage all that complex information. Men with their simple spotlight brains can focus on simple, single tasks suited to their ´nature’ like fetching water, digging holes, chopping wood etc. Barf. Everyone should be insulted by this AI slop attack on human intelligence. But if it works we can be controlled and manipulated into compliance and that’s the point.
So men tell us their brains are inferior to women’s when it comes to the domestic sphere. But then they tell us they have superior brains in the paid work sphere? We need to point out this hypocrisy at every opportunity.
My late husband always said he “didn’t see mess” and his ability to do just one thing was astonishing. He would go and make a cup tea for us both. And that was what he did - much like your example of the glass of water. Kettle filled, kettle boiled, water in teapot, milk in mugs, pour tea. If I made the tea, I’d be putting any crockery from the draining board away, wiping down the kitchen surfaces, looking to see if we had enough bread for our sons’ packed lunches the next day….
Sometimes I would ask him to do a simple job when he was off work and I wasn’t. I’d get home and he wouldn’t have done it. The amount of times I would say “One job! I asked you to do one job and you didn’t do it”. “Oh, I forgot”, he would reply. It really pains me to think that this was deliberate. He would, if he were still here, probably insist that it wasn’t. But he was a mental health nurse. He ran a whole hospital at one point. He could have done it if he really wanted to. He insisted I could have it all. What he really meant was I could do it all.
And I don’t miss him any less. It was just the way things were.
Why I have no interest in ever sharing a household with a man ever again. I have a (very) few good male friends who are capable of these things and we do mutual aid/information swapping in areas where our skills don’t overlap, which is great. If men are going to plead this level of incompetence en masse then they are basically just building a strong case that they should not be in charge of anything important ever.
Men claim total competency in everything they do and then turn around and feign complete ignorance only in situations where there’s some sort of accountability for their actions. Competent insofar as someone isn’t trying to hold them to their actions or inactions, then they seem to have the stonewalled “I don’t know, I don’t understand” switch.
It’s always the men who claim absolute competency who have this switch too. They know exactly what they’re doing.
Yes! I have started using this response. "Oh, men can't multitask? I guess we shouldn't allow them to be CEOs or heads of state then!" "Men can't be expected to do anything for their daughters, like buy clothes, do hair, buy tampons, provide emotional support? I guess they shouldn't be allowed custody of their children then. You're right!"
It leads to confused sputtering and is quite satisfying.
"Men’s libido is consistent and constant, while women’s libido is seasonal and contextual."
Called out 🥲
If they don't see laundry, they'll have to just walk around undressed. 🤷
I always thought this and never realised it was misogyny at work. I never understood why a ‘man’ couldn’t do what women could ‘do’. Sure, women (now) get told we can do what men do, but no one tells men now that they can do what women do. And it shows.
That's such a great point.
Hah. Funny. Twenty years ago, I had an "extreme male brain", because that was the prevailing pop "science" of what autism was back then. This, of course, meant that all of the neurosisters whom I should have grown up with have all gone completely overlooked until well into adulthood, while I got to watch my neurobrothers treat me as less and less human, and more and more like an object and a canvas to project their frustrations upon, as time passed and they received their patriarchal programming. They were not fucking like that as young boys, but those were the men many have grown into. That's patriarchy, not autism, at work.
And yet, now the fact I have basic situational awareness means I have a "female brain". No. If I had ignored everyone's moods except my own while I was trapped in my family of origin, I would never have survived to escape them because then I wouldn't have been able to anticipate my abusers' actions based on their moods and plan ahead of them. I wouldn't have survived my abusive rapist husband, either, who himself decided that he should not be expected to pay attention to my needs or our cats' needs. (The litterboxes were his job, but I was the one who recognized one of the cats needed a box with a low entryway, while his 'solution' was to verbally abuse my poor ESA cat, who is middle-aged with FIV and should not be expected to have the same needs as a young healthy cat like his own, for being 'lazy'. This ultimately cost us our deposit on the apartment. )
(Ftr, I am an AFAB intersex non-binary trans man. Not the first time I've said that here, but I don't expect anyone to keep track of a random commenter's origin story. )
Also, in order for a man to be able to go straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water, somebody had to have emptied the sink, washed the cups, and put them away in the cupboard. I bet you this example man would have seen dirty dishes just fine if there were no clean cups to drink from. And promptly blamed his wife despite himself having dirtied the majority of those cups to begin with. Ask me how I know. Or don't because you already know how I know.
Agreed on the last point. Let’s take that lazy argument about different brains to its logical conclusion shall we? Perhaps then men with simple spotlight brains should not be trusted with managing complex organizations and situations such as leading a corporation or a country, developing government policy or managing international relations. These tasks should be left to the female floodlight brain which can synthesize and manage all that complex information. Men with their simple spotlight brains can focus on simple, single tasks suited to their ´nature’ like fetching water, digging holes, chopping wood etc. Barf. Everyone should be insulted by this AI slop attack on human intelligence. But if it works we can be controlled and manipulated into compliance and that’s the point.
OK I love the suggestion to take what they say at face value. Why should I get into a relationship with a human who can't human?