My kid smells, and refuses all reasonable measures. Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus

A reader says she can't stand her daughter's smell and doesn't know what to do.

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A reader asks…

My thirteen-year-old daughter is going through puberty, and well, she smells terrible.

She refuses to wear deodorant, and the body odor is overpowering. It is really unpleasant to hug her, and sitting in a room with her is distracting. Furniture smells after she sits on it, and my house is beginning to smell.

She re-wears dirty clothes, which compounds the issue. And perhaps most embarrassing of all to her and to me, she changes her underwear infrequently and does not seem terribly committed to wiping well. She often smells like urine.

The result is a sensory nightmare for me, and a foul smell for her. Her hair is visibly dirty.

I have tried talking to her about this, but she tells me she smells fine, gets defensive, and shuts down.

Do I really have to live like this in the name of bodily autonomy?