Thank you. This last year I have often thought of the connection between your work and the attitudes we see in parts of the government. I really appreciate you writing this because most of the people I know are in confusion and pain about how they can make any kind of a difference that will actually make a difference.
I’m involved with Citizens Climate Lobby (CCL) which is bipartisan and has had success in preventing some of the environmental rollback called for in Project 2025. This feels like an important area to consistently push. The overheating of our planet is being consistently underestimated.
I worry about this statement. It's what many leftists have struggled with over many years. Recently I watched a good interview with Lundy Bancroft (I know he's problematic, but he has done a lot of good work and has many good points). Most abusers aren't suffering from mental disorders. They were just culturally brought up a certain way, to believe that women owed them labor. And efforts to change their abusive behavior were difficult and long because it's hard to change someone's viewpoint from the way they were taught as a child. So many Republicans were taught as children that other races owed them labor and didn't deserve anything for it. How can you change someone's viewpoint that they were taught by their parents? It's insidious and almost impossible. I don't like the way you phrased that statement because it implies that we can and should convert people, that we owe them that mental labor. What I would prefer people say is "If people truly want to change, we should help them up and accept them into the movement"
The Uppity Negress recently made a post about a comment thread where she called out a woman trying to help her Republican husband learn empathy. I don't agree with the way she bullied the woman, but she does have a point about not letting ourselves being trapped into relationships with men where we have to work tirelessly just to open their eyes to how the world really is and why we should care about others. That kind of work is exhausting, especially when you're usually fighting an uphill battle against someone who doesn't want to change.
I'm sorry to fight you on this, I truly appreciate your work and I'm a longtime subscriber. But fighting to change hearts and minds one person at a time should come with a huge CAVEAT warning on it ⚠️ - don't attempt to do this in a romantic relationship. Chances are excellent that it won't work even if it appears to be working. Ask me how I know after my divorce that I didn't really do anything to change my ex-husband for the better - he just started shutting up about it until after I left.
Changing hearts and minds is best done in the context of friendships and group and individual therapy.
I want to echo and expand on the point about calling representatives. It does matter. I've seen a few social media posts decrying it as a waste of time (not sure how widespread that is). I have a relative who used to be a staffer for a senator. He said they were required to log and tally the calls. Also, he said that each call on an issue counted 10 times. I might be getting the exact number wrong, but basically, for every call received on a certain issue, they figured there were 10 other people who likely felt the same way but weren't necessarily picking up the phone to make the call. It can feel demoralizing when the rep votes against your position or you get the canned response from the person answering, but truly, in the aggregate and over time, it's something they are required to pay attention to.
I’m not gonna lie. I resent that (predominantly white) people are only caring because it’s affecting them now. Like they know Renee Good and Alex Pretti’s name, and those in power demeaned Goods death because she was a gay woman, but now they’re gonna properly investigate a white mans death? It’s so clear whose lives are worthy of care and it seems hollow that people are only motivated now because it’s white people being targeted. I don’t feel more safe knowing these people are fighting only to go back to the comfort of ‘before’ while other ethnic groups will continue to die and be targeted by the system.
I’m sorry, what’s the purpose of your comment in response to mine?
Was it to ‘correct’ me? Or put me in my place? Or communicate to me that white people are better than my observations so far? Or maybe it was to prove to me you’re one of the good ones?
Ahhh. So it was a combination of all of the above for stupid reasons.
1) I am not upset. I am used to arrogant white women who believe they should speak over me, get the last word in, and correct me under the guise that they believe they are the most objective deciders of reality.
2) the defence of white people is implicit in your purpose as stated here that ‘you’ didn’t just suddenly start caring - that white women like you have ‘always’ hated the violence and harm especially from Trump, and how dare a brown woman challenge your ‘truth’ as a white person
3) Also implicit in your purpose was to prove to me that you’re one of the good ones - by telling me how you always ‘cared’
4) And lastly, your very last sentence really hammers home the nail that I needed to put in my place and corrected because god forbid, a brown woman who is regularly victimised by white women like you as you’re doing here, dares to speak up about her lived experience that *shock horror* should alienate YOU, one of the good ones.
If your allyship is so conditional on my silence to make you feel comfortable, it was never allyship to begin with. Do us all a favour and take your dangerous attitude away from all us brown, black, Asian, and indigenous women.
I know enough about you that you’ll happily perform a racist microaggression whilst simultaneously arguing and signalling you’re a good white woman to the world
Thank you so much for the resources and reminders.
Thank you so much, this was such a timely newsletter for me to receive and I am grateful for the resources you shared also! Thanks Zawn 🫶🏼
Thank you. This last year I have often thought of the connection between your work and the attitudes we see in parts of the government. I really appreciate you writing this because most of the people I know are in confusion and pain about how they can make any kind of a difference that will actually make a difference.
I’m involved with Citizens Climate Lobby (CCL) which is bipartisan and has had success in preventing some of the environmental rollback called for in Project 2025. This feels like an important area to consistently push. The overheating of our planet is being consistently underestimated.
"If we can convert them, we must"
I worry about this statement. It's what many leftists have struggled with over many years. Recently I watched a good interview with Lundy Bancroft (I know he's problematic, but he has done a lot of good work and has many good points). Most abusers aren't suffering from mental disorders. They were just culturally brought up a certain way, to believe that women owed them labor. And efforts to change their abusive behavior were difficult and long because it's hard to change someone's viewpoint from the way they were taught as a child. So many Republicans were taught as children that other races owed them labor and didn't deserve anything for it. How can you change someone's viewpoint that they were taught by their parents? It's insidious and almost impossible. I don't like the way you phrased that statement because it implies that we can and should convert people, that we owe them that mental labor. What I would prefer people say is "If people truly want to change, we should help them up and accept them into the movement"
The Uppity Negress recently made a post about a comment thread where she called out a woman trying to help her Republican husband learn empathy. I don't agree with the way she bullied the woman, but she does have a point about not letting ourselves being trapped into relationships with men where we have to work tirelessly just to open their eyes to how the world really is and why we should care about others. That kind of work is exhausting, especially when you're usually fighting an uphill battle against someone who doesn't want to change.
I'm sorry to fight you on this, I truly appreciate your work and I'm a longtime subscriber. But fighting to change hearts and minds one person at a time should come with a huge CAVEAT warning on it ⚠️ - don't attempt to do this in a romantic relationship. Chances are excellent that it won't work even if it appears to be working. Ask me how I know after my divorce that I didn't really do anything to change my ex-husband for the better - he just started shutting up about it until after I left.
Changing hearts and minds is best done in the context of friendships and group and individual therapy.
https://youtu.be/ywsTdzkiPF0?si=dTMe4C8wWSnJe4LQ
It should go without saying at this point that we don't try to convert abusive husbands, and that we shouldn't waste time arguing with people.
I want to echo and expand on the point about calling representatives. It does matter. I've seen a few social media posts decrying it as a waste of time (not sure how widespread that is). I have a relative who used to be a staffer for a senator. He said they were required to log and tally the calls. Also, he said that each call on an issue counted 10 times. I might be getting the exact number wrong, but basically, for every call received on a certain issue, they figured there were 10 other people who likely felt the same way but weren't necessarily picking up the phone to make the call. It can feel demoralizing when the rep votes against your position or you get the canned response from the person answering, but truly, in the aggregate and over time, it's something they are required to pay attention to.
"One phone call = 100-1,000 angry voters": https://cmarmitage.substack.com/p/5-phone-calls-can-stop-american-fascism?utm_source=publication-search
Thank you so much for these resources. This was timely, helpful, and the antidote to my feelings of despair.
I’m not gonna lie. I resent that (predominantly white) people are only caring because it’s affecting them now. Like they know Renee Good and Alex Pretti’s name, and those in power demeaned Goods death because she was a gay woman, but now they’re gonna properly investigate a white mans death? It’s so clear whose lives are worthy of care and it seems hollow that people are only motivated now because it’s white people being targeted. I don’t feel more safe knowing these people are fighting only to go back to the comfort of ‘before’ while other ethnic groups will continue to die and be targeted by the system.
I’m sorry, what’s the purpose of your comment in response to mine?
Was it to ‘correct’ me? Or put me in my place? Or communicate to me that white people are better than my observations so far? Or maybe it was to prove to me you’re one of the good ones?
Please clarify your point and purpose please.
Ahhh. So it was a combination of all of the above for stupid reasons.
1) I am not upset. I am used to arrogant white women who believe they should speak over me, get the last word in, and correct me under the guise that they believe they are the most objective deciders of reality.
2) the defence of white people is implicit in your purpose as stated here that ‘you’ didn’t just suddenly start caring - that white women like you have ‘always’ hated the violence and harm especially from Trump, and how dare a brown woman challenge your ‘truth’ as a white person
3) Also implicit in your purpose was to prove to me that you’re one of the good ones - by telling me how you always ‘cared’
4) And lastly, your very last sentence really hammers home the nail that I needed to put in my place and corrected because god forbid, a brown woman who is regularly victimised by white women like you as you’re doing here, dares to speak up about her lived experience that *shock horror* should alienate YOU, one of the good ones.
I am going to say this very politely - fuck off.
If your allyship is so conditional on my silence to make you feel comfortable, it was never allyship to begin with. Do us all a favour and take your dangerous attitude away from all us brown, black, Asian, and indigenous women.
I know enough about you that you’ll happily perform a racist microaggression whilst simultaneously arguing and signalling you’re a good white woman to the world
Mind the Movement is providing free mental health care for people on the ground in Minneapolis and elsewhere: https://givebutter.com/MindtheMovement
Stand with Minnesota is coordinating some different ways to help people pay for food and rent and such: https://www.standwithminnesota.com/rent
Report ice activity here: https://unitedwedream.org/our-work/deportation-defense/migrawatch-hotline/
And find more local places to report ice activity here: https://nnirr.org/education-resources/community-resources-legal-assistance-recursos-comunitarios-asistencia-legal/immigration-hotlines-lineas-directas-de-inmigracion/
Gentle and quick self-care to try: https://happyyoga.substack.com/p/a-gentle-practice-for-when-your-heart?utm_source=%2Finbox&utm_medium=reader2
For more difficult/dark thoughts and emotions, learn more about completing the stress response cycle and therapeutic image-play here: https://wyrdsister.substack.com/p/a-growing-arsenal-of-spells-a-powerful
Thanks for this post, Zawn. We are living in such a surreal time.