The myth of the man-hating feminist--and why hating men is never comparable to hating women

Why misogynist men love to pretend feminism is about hating men

“Why do you hate men so much? Everyone has problems and this gender nonsense just divides us all.”

It’s the comment I see over and over on my posts—and a question that landed in my inbox this week, from a man who seems to earnestly believe he’s making an innovative and creative point.

And too often, we defend ourselves: I’m not a misandrist! I love men! I’m married to a man! High profile feminists feel pressured to cater to men, to apologize to men, to talk about how much they love men.

There’s only so much time in a day, in a month, in a life. And every moment we waste telling men how much we like them is a moment not spent dismantling the systems that oppress us all. That’s exactly what these men want: to waste our time.

So why is this argument so often effective? And why do we so often fall for it?