The weaponized stepmother: What she is, how to avoid becoming one, and what to do if you're a victim

Men often weaponize well-meaning women as tools of ongoing abuse.

He seems so great. He’s friendly, hot, and has the cutest kids. But he’s fighting for the right to see him from his abusive ex, who brutally separated them from him. Surely you should help, right?

Not so fast. This is how every weaponized stepmother story begins.

Weaponized stepmothers are women—often young and naive—whom abusive men recruit to help them abuse their exes. They’re good, kind people whose goodness and kindness are used against them, and turned on someone who has already suffered immense abuse.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial if you date men—whether you’re getting involved with a divorced man for the first time, or finally freeing yourself from the shackles of a bad relationship.

A man who weaponizes you against his ex is abusing his children and his ex in so doing—and may soon begin abusing you.

So how can you tell if you’re part of this harmful dynamic? And what should you do if your ex tries to weaponize another woman against you?

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