The weapons sexist men use: "I'm just joking!" (paid subscriber bonus)

He's not actually joking. And he's not funny either.

This is part of a new paid subscriber-only feature identifying and deconstructing the arguments sexist men use in fights with women—mostly in fights with partners, but sometimes in arguments online, with bosses, colleagues, and other women who question them. The experiences women have with men in private are as much collective experiences as they are individual ones. Men inevitably bring male privilege to their relationships. And men who do not actively work on their own sexism will weaponize it in fights. Politics are personal, and they influence our closest relationships. Seeing the patterns in the way men treat their partners can help remove the power from much abusive treatment, and empower women to see shitty relationships with clear eyes.

“Why do you have to be so serious? Can’t you just take a joke?”

“Everyone is so woke nowadays. No one can laugh at anything.”

“I’m just teasing you! Why do you have to be so boring!”

“You’re so sensitive!”

“Obviously I don’t really believe that! I’m just joking! Stop being hysetrical!”

It’s a predictable refrain from sexist men. It leans on the stereotype of the hysterical, overemotional woman. If she would just loosen up and see the humor in his sexist bullshit, his argument goes, everything would be ok. Her hurt feelings are her fault—and definitely not his responsibility to mend. Oppression doesn’t matter! It’s funny!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.