What do discussions about sex sound like in a healthy relationship? Feminist Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus
A reader wonders how to broach sexuality with her husband.
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A reader asks…
What do conversations around sex look like in a healthy relationship? If you’re not fulfilled by it, how do you bring that up to your partner without making them feel bad? My attempts to discuss this with my husband have never gone well and I understand that a lack of emotional safety is a part of it. My husband always claimed “he’s good” so it gave me an icky feeling if I kept trying to bring it up, since I know sex is not something I’m owed. It’s been almost one year since I’ve cut off all forms of intimacy and never intend to have sex again unless there’s a shared understanding on the matter. Whether that’s with my husband or not, I feel lost on how to navigate this topic after a lifetime of suppressing my desires for the comfort of others.