What does a good marriage look like? Feminist Advice Friday (paid subscriber bonus)
A reader is so flummoxed by the idea of a happy marriage that she cannot imagine what it would even look like. But she knows she wants one.
A reader asks…
I started reading you a couple of years ago, and I initially assumed you were this happily single feminist single mom living your best weird life. And then I saw that you were married and sort of did a double take. When I saw you referring to your husband as “the love of my life” and your marriage as “liberatory,” I was seriously like what the hell.
I’m a little obsessed with your marriage. I’ve been trying to figure out what it feels like, and how it works.
I broke off my engagement about a year ago, partially because I started reading you and Clementine Ford, and seeing how terrible my fiance really was. I’m not one of those lucky women who can suddenly become attracted to women. I like men. I just don’t like Men as a group, if that makes any sense.
I would like to have a relationship, maybe even a marriage, if it’s possible. I’ve seen a lot of your red flag stuff, and so I know what not to look for. But what does a good marriage even look like? I’ve literally never seen one. Can you help me figure out what I want, and whether a good marriage is something even worth pursuing?