Liberating Motherhood

Liberating Motherhood

Why do so many men ruin every holiday with a bad mood? Paid subscriber bonus

When the only gift he gets you is the surprise of how bad his mood will be this year.

Zawn Villines's avatar
Zawn Villines
Dec 10, 2024
∙ Paid

As the holiday season gets into full swing, if you’re like many women, there may be another source of stress gnawing at the back of your mind: how your male partner will behave this year.

You know how it unfolds, and so do millions of other women just like you:

You’ve worked day after day, night after night, wrapping presents, budgeting for everything, sending cards and thank-you notes, and investing mightily in building magic from scratch. You’ve done all or most of it alone, freeing the man in your life from the stress of dealing with it all, and giving him the gift of a ready-made holiday that seems effortless.

And what’s he doing? Sitting in the corner sulking.

A bad mood is, after all, a great way to keep your family in line and prevent your partner from complaining. It’s no accident that sexist and abusive men treat their families to a bad mood during special occasions.

Here’s what the holiday mood might look like:

  • contributing nothing to the holiday preparation process, but then complaining that it’s inadequate, too expensive, or wasteful

  • refusing to do any emotional labor when company is present

  • spending most of the holiday napping or watching football rather than helping or engaging with the family

  • refusing to buy anyone presents

  • picking a fight with their partner every year on the holidays

  • skulking around, sullen and unhappy, while everyone else does their best to make the holidays a positive experience

  • throwing a tantrum to get out of the one or two chores he volunteered to do

This is not an accident. Men weaponize these moods against their partners and families. So what is going on here, and what can you do about it?

From now through December 15th, I’m running my semi-annual membership drive. Get a discount of 20% on a monthly or annual newsletter subscription, as well as free merch (stickers, sticky notes, etc)! You will also permanently lock in your membership fee, ensuring the rate never goes up as long as you remain a subscriber. That’s a good thing, since I’ll be raising prices after the member drive for the new year. The price increase will not affect current subscribers, but if you are a current subscriber, please do not unsubscribe to re-subscribe at the sale rate; this rate is for new subs only. You can still get the discount if you give a gift to someone else, though!

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