'You're never satisfied with anything!' The Weapons Sexist Men Use Series
Sexist men pretend women's standards are unreasonable, because they don't think they should have to live up to any standards at all.
This is an updated and expanded version of an earlier post. I occasionally revisit my archives to introduce new readers to older pieces, and to ensure these older pieces continue to offer new and expanding value.
Also, a quick note that I am not leaving Facebook and not allowing the community I have built there to be destroyed by political impulses. But I am building a backup plan. So I hope you’ll consider following me on Bluesky! I’m here.
“You’re never satisfied with anything I do!”
It’s a familiar refrain to any woman who has ever attempted to demand better behavior from her partner.
The subtext (or overtly stated threat) is often, “So I might as well not do anything at all.”
And of course, this threat usually comes in a context where he’s already not doing much at all.
The notion of women as impossible to please, as entitled and spoiled, is one of patriarchy’s most popular myths. This myth allows men to get away with doing essentially nothing but making their partners’ lives worse. So why is this argument so effective? And how do men weaponize it in their relationships?
This is part of a series of bonus content for paid subscribers in which I address some of the weapons men use to deflect blame and avoid accountability. Some other pieces in this series have included:
The weapons sexist men use in fights: “We just have different standards!”
The weapons sexist men use in fights: Blaming women for their reactions to bad behavior
The weapons men use in fights: “You’re never satisfied with anything!”
The arguments sexist men use in fights—and what they really mean
The most important tool men use to maintain household labor inequality
The weapons men use in fights: “You’re so controlling! Stop policing me!”