Why weaponized incompetence is such a core feature of misogyny

It's all about avoiding work, then pretending that work doesn't matter.

“My husband will always forget to buy the kids Christmas gifts, and I can’t just let them get nothing. So I do it every year.”

“My male partner doesn’t know how to deal with our toddlers’ tantrums, and will just make things worse. So I intervene, and now I’m taking on more and more of the parenting duties.”

“If my husband gets up with the baby at night, he’ll be too tired in the morning—and then he’ll take his bad mood out on the rest of us. So I get up with her every night, and just cope with the sleep deprivation.”

“If my partner washes the dishes, I’ll just have to go back and redo them. And then he’ll get angry, so I might as well do it myself and save the time and stress.”

Sound familiar? This is the culture of weaponized incompetence. Writers have spilled tons of ink talking about this phenomenon over the past few years, so it’s not a new concept to many. What you may not realize, though, is how core weaponized incompetence is to misogyny. It serves the purpose of both exploiting women’s labor and denigrating that labor when it occurs.