I know this is an older piece, but this paragraph stuck out to me:
“Every last one of us makes mistakes. If we believe that certain mistakes are unforgivable, or that certain feedback means we have failed terribly, then we will be unable to accept criticism. And the inability to accept criticism is the first step on the road to abusing others."
It made me wonder, how can we tell the difference between “good“ criticism like you discuss here that helps us improve and perhaps even break generational trauma, and the toxic criticism used by abusers to tear us down and destroy our sense of self to remake us according to their tastes?
If this comment is better submitted as a reader question, I can definitely do that instead.
"Am I making decisions that improve our relationship or erode it? Will what I am doing help my child feel more secure or less?"
Thanks for this - it really captures what matters most. My child and I are experiencing an extremely difficult period in our lives. Easy to grasp reminders like this one are very valuable to me in this moment.
I am very sorry for your loss, Zawn.
This piece is a perspective that I hadn’t considered before.
Thank you.
I know this is an older piece, but this paragraph stuck out to me:
“Every last one of us makes mistakes. If we believe that certain mistakes are unforgivable, or that certain feedback means we have failed terribly, then we will be unable to accept criticism. And the inability to accept criticism is the first step on the road to abusing others."
It made me wonder, how can we tell the difference between “good“ criticism like you discuss here that helps us improve and perhaps even break generational trauma, and the toxic criticism used by abusers to tear us down and destroy our sense of self to remake us according to their tastes?
If this comment is better submitted as a reader question, I can definitely do that instead.
I would love to address this. But I know I'll forget. Would you email it to me? Zawn@zawn.net
Thank you! I will do so.
"Am I making decisions that improve our relationship or erode it? Will what I am doing help my child feel more secure or less?"
Thanks for this - it really captures what matters most. My child and I are experiencing an extremely difficult period in our lives. Easy to grasp reminders like this one are very valuable to me in this moment.