29 Comments
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Andra McCowen's avatar

This is such a beautiful tribute. You can see the light in her eyes and the joy in her smile. You gave her a beautiful sendoff. My condolences on your loss.

Jennifer's avatar

Thank you for writing and sharing this. She is amazing.

Lisa Metzgar's avatar

Beautiful.

Iris's avatar

Oh Zawn, I am so sorry for your loss. Stephanie's Facebook posts have me in tears. Quoting Audrey Lorde (who in turn quotes Emma Goldman?!) plants Stephanie squarely in the category of people I instantly LOVE. Your life, her network of family and friends, her community, our country, and even the world are all worse for her absence.

Thank you so much for sharing her. And this just miiiight be me fangirl-ing, but I can clearly see your impact on her life, as she grew into her own strength.

Laura Baker's avatar

I can see the impact Zawn had on Stephanie too ♥️✨

Gail Lee's avatar

This is beautiful. She will definitely live on in those lives she touched.

Amanda's avatar

Thank you for sharing her with us. Thinking of you.

Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you for sharing Stephanie Hill's beautiful life and your love and grief. A huge loss to this world. Don't ever stop telling us your truth.

Stoner Story Witch's avatar

😭🥹❤️‍🩹🫂🕯️

Eleanor Shellstrop from FB's avatar

I'm so sincerely sorry for your loss. This was beautifully written and deeply touching to read.

As a childless breast cancer survivor who is still being closely monitored for recurrence in my stomach, I felt a particular ache reading: "What matters most, what matters only, what matters longest is what we leave behind in those who loved us."

Your words reminded me that I'll never have any of this or legacy of my own.

Thank you for sharing Stephanie with us.

Zawn Villines's avatar

I'm so sorry this has made you feel that way, but those feelings in no way reflect reality!

Children are not the only legacy, certainly not the only legacy of love. You live on in every child you affect, in every person whom your life touches, and in every good act you ever do. You can build an intergenerational legacy of growth and love without ever having children.

You are precious and irreplaceable, just like Stephanie.

Laura Baker's avatar

Zawn is right! Biological children are definitely not the only forms of legacy and I’m sure you have positively impacted countless individuals in your life.

Eileen Hale's avatar

Ditto to what Zawn and Laura have said. I was going to say the same thing. All the places we volunteer, or work, or share our creative voice, or, or, or... My bet, too, is that your legacy threads through your community.

Sovereign K's avatar

You both really spoke to me this morning. Thank you for sharing this very intimate experience and your heart. Love to you and all her loved ones.

Laura Baker's avatar

Hi Zawn,

This was a heartfelt and beautiful entry about Stephanie. I can see in her face how truly kind and good she was.

I want you to know that your writing has informed and helped me, much like it seems to have helped Stephanie. The power of your thoughts and writing does change lives.

Grief and love are inextricable. I feel for you. I hope knowing that you loved and supported Stephanie into being the freest version of herself provides some respite in the depths and darkness of grieving.

You are loved and you are making a difference. Take care ♥️

Chera Rizk's avatar

Thank you for sharing a little glimpse of her beautiful soul with us…I am sorry for your loss. 💜🌷💜🌷 She will definitely live on through those she touched.

Sarah Blunkosky, M.A., C-IAYT's avatar

Rest in power Stephanie. Much compassion and love to all those who you nurtured and supported with your very valuable labors and heart and those who are hurting in your absence. I’m sorry that patriarchy stole your life force and your time here- the world lost a great human. Zawn- a beautiful eulogy and tribute. ❤️‍🩹

CreativePath's avatar

Very heartfelt. No words...

Rachel Bayles's avatar

Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. "In so many ways, her story is one of what oppressive systems take from us. I hope her story is a cautionary tale that the time to act is now." I will re-read this piece every month and try to honor her by making changes in my own life to act now.

Brandon Cole's avatar

This is a beautiful read, a beautiful tribute. It is also another reminder of how the patriarchy values women's lives as less. You were here for me when I lost my wife. All I can say is I am here if you need me. She will live on in you and your work.