I recommend reading Rebecca Solnit's "Hope in the Dark".
Also, are you a member of any kind if intentional community? A neighbourhood group, an anarchist collective, a congregation of any kind of progressive spiritual bent? We're not designed to do this kind of thing alone.
I feel this letter at my core. I truly believe the stress and unhappiness of where I live contributed to my cancer. I traveled last week to visit my grandchildren with my family. Coming back has been devastating. We have no community, no family to rely on, and I don’t know whether to venture into any activism work again because I’m afraid it might cause a relapse. This place I love causes people who fight against the power to either give up and leave or die. It’s just so sad. I’ve been deserted by most people here since Covid and cancer and I’m just tired of trying. I know this doesn’t help at all but I feel solidarity with this letter writer….so much solidarity.
Thank you so much for this excellent advice. The grief, loss, and hatred in the world is often overwhelming. As the primary caregiver for my adult disabled daughter, I have very little obvious capacity for any activism that would interfere with keeping her life as stable as possible.
What I do manage to do, is serve on my school district’s school board, and in that way be an ally to and a voice for all the kids here - especially BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ students and families. I keep two FB accounts, one of which is specifically for people living in or closely connected to this school district; on that account I make it very clear what I stand for and support. I make sure to like/share/comment positively on the posts of the LGBTQIA+ support center which, thank god, opened here a few years ago. It’s a small thing, but it’s what I can manage right now.
I love this. Can you recommend any age appropriate books for children age 1-4 on the importance of social activism and the pursuit of justice? I appreciate that many pieces of literature would be topic specific, but I would love to find different means of educating my girls. Thank you so much ❤️
I don’t know of any specific resources , but I can tell you what’s worked for my now adult daughter. I have always done whatever form of activism or involvement in the community I have been capable of at the time and always involved her from a very young age. I became a 100% solo mum when my daughter was a baby, and it was a struggle in every way. I wasn’t working at first and was pretty poor, but I did have a car (old and crappy, but it worked). I was living in a small apartment next to a pub so I knew some of the older regulars who had no family and I would offer to take them to hospital or medical appointments, or shopping; I had time and I enjoyed helping people.
Obviously, the baby was with me 24/7 so she grew up doing this. One woman needed a lift to the cemetery every week to visit her partner’s grave. This woman became my best friend over the years and I grieved her like a mother when she died many years later.
I did return to work but continued more formal volunteering by getting involved with a local single mums group which I still help run. Just being active in a community and even helping one person is always worthwhile, and I honestly get a lot out of it. I’d always had to volunteer and be proactive in my career as an artist so it was second nature as I became a mother.
My daughter, having seen this example has become a compassionate and caring young adult who I hope will continue with some form of awareness and helping others.
Wangari’s Trees of Peace: A True Story from Africa by Jeanette Winter
The Peace Book by Todd Parr
Who is Malala Yousafzai? By Dinah Brown
The Butter Battle Book by Dr. Seuss
Who Was Anne Frank? By Ann Abramson
Editing my comment to add:
My Little Golden Book About Dolly Parton by Deborah Hopkinson & Monique Dong
My Little Golden Book About Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Shana Corey and Margaux Lucas
My Little Golden Book About Martin Luther King, Jr. by Bonnie Bade and Sue Cornelison
Second edit of my comment to add:
I used to plant trees with Casey Trees in Washington, DC, with my kids. They LOVED it. We got to plant trees at the National Zoo in DC and also at a garden called “Wangari’s Garden.” And other places like cemeteries and neighborhoods. There is probably a tree planting organization in your community. Your local librarian could locate that for you. :) they always need volunteers to help plant trees !!
I always come back to a quote I saw online years ago. Probably a Tweet. Anyway, it was from a college professor of sociology or another Humanity field. And it was
You are all here because you have inside you at least a little bit of Wanting to Save The World.
And I am here to tell you that it's ok if you only save one person.
And that it's OK if that one person is you.
Save Yourself, so you're the best mom you can be to your kids. So they grow up to also want to save the world.
Save yourself so that when your friend is down in the oubliette of despair, you have a light and a ladder and you can help her get herself out. And so you realize that you can't "make her" grieve faster or feel less desperate, but you can make sure she's not alone.
Save yourself so you have the bandwidth to help your community, but remember that you are a helper and not a hero. You don't have to rush into a burning building or singlehandedly stop the police from raiding the homes of unhoused neighbors. You probably won't. You almost certainly can't. But you can lobby for better policies and go to City Council and maybe run for local office.
I have also been on a Media Diet since before the 2016 election, and it really does give me time to THINK and focus and plan. I promise that shutting off the 24/7 deluge of horror won't make you oblivious or uninformed. The information is always there. You just don't have to consume it every waking moment. And being able to be selective about what you read or see and what sources you trust will actually make you better at parsing the truth of nuanced situations.
Find a group of like-minded locals who are already doing the work and lend them your skills. Tell them what you are good at and how much time/money you really have available. Ask them what they need from you with your skills. Even a couple of hours a week making phone calls can actually help make a difference. You don't have to do some Big Important Thing to be part of big things. And trying to reinvent the wheel by starting a movement/group of your own is both exhausting and distracting from the work of people who have been doing it.
It is OK if the only person you save is you.
And it is more than sufficient to do what you can, where and when you can.
Thank you for writing all those words out (Zawn's letter and Shaun's comment). I have been on a journey the last 13 years of saving myself from complicated health issues and an abusive marriage, so I can be the best I can be for my two kids and teaching them the right ways of thinking. I'm 3 years post-divorce now and all three of us are THRIVING. I think it is so important to emphasize to women drowning in life or illness and despairing about ever improving their own circumstances (let alone the world) that the behind the scenes stuff that goes unrecognized and often criticized (like caring for oneself and so much of child rearing) IS making a difference. We cannot help others breathe if we ourselves are suffocating. Saving ourselves is a worthy cause!
Reader, I feel you. I also had a hard time with how much I had to scale back activism and volunteer work after becoming a parent. I was raised to think, if you're feeling down, look for some way to help others. Get involved in something and volunteer. When you're parenting little ones, that's obviously not always viable. A friend reminded me, though, that raising children *is* essentially volunteer work on behalf of humanity, and it's some of the most important work that can be done. When I was able to rethink my parenting as trying to enact social justice in the most local and personal of ways helped.
I've also found some very small-scale ways that I can still be involved. We have community fridges/ pantries in our neighborhood that I'll contribute to. Sure, I usually can't share much beyond a few items, but hopefully it's helped someone who really needed it. And I take my son with me so he learns. Neighbors that have little free libraries have often brought immense happiness to me and my son when we've discovered new books there, and I hope the ones I've dropped off in exchange have brought enjoyment to others. Sometimes it's hard to recognize the value because it's not making headlines or doing anything earth-moving, but often it's the sustained actions over time that keep people going.
With the media diet, I'm someone who'd have a really hard time shutting out news entirely -- I'm just too driven by a need to know. So if that's the case for you, too, I'd recommend being really selective about when you consume it (I can't first thing in the morning. I need to at least start the day off without facing the horrors of the world. I'm better at dealing with the news mid-day/ afternoon or evening) and making it a point to find media that also captures the positives and progress happening. I find local media, and some alternative/ independent media is good for often highlighting organizations or individuals involved in making things better. Stories like that help remind me, even when it doesn't feel like it, others do care and want to improve the world.
One other thing -- I appreciated so much how Zawn highlights the work of her children's nanny in enabling her husband to fight against Cop City. I think our individualistic society has a tendency to emphasize people (usually men, or those with some sort of privilege) in the public view, taking action in recognizable ways as being the ones that affect change. But those individuals usually have a community of support around them -- whether it's someone caring for their children so they can work or a trusted friend listening and offering counsel, spouses and family members who help them, etc. The great heroes of any era didn't just spring up and make the world better all on their own. The more we can attend to how people in communities make change happen, the more knowledge we have about how to improve things.
Yes! This is the very definition of community. I've also been explaining to my first grader that the best contribution she can make to stopping cop city is to willingly spend Saturday out with me, without guilting her dad for being unable to come, so that he can work on brief writing. It's amazing how explaining this to her has changed her attitude. It takes all of us, working together, supporting each other, making life easier for people who take on the biggest share of the labor.
I follow FutureCube. They are a news source explicitly focused on real, positive news. Not the fluffy "It's a sunshiney day!" bullshit. They're the only source I follow for climate and environment, for example, because while they briefly touch on things like the fact that the US refuses to engage in the Paris Climate Accord, they then quickly move on to the dozens of countries who have used the national park system to protect their most vulnerable habitats. Yes, even countries we think of as "poor" or "third world" or too war-torn to care about these things.
Also, I have more good news: I am a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. This specific, advanced role for nurses was established in the early 90s. At the time, there were only about 75 nurses in the NATION with this skillset. Now, there are thousands and still growing. My class was the largest my hospital had ever taught, and we even had a labor and delivery nurse who audited the class (it's usually only open to ER nurses because we have the clinical base for learning the skills). So that means more and more are available so survivors never have to wait for care. Our SANE coordinator explained that this is good, as we are seeing more and more people come after their assaults for care--not because the incidence has increased, but because people feel safer coming in to be seen. That is the DIRECT result of people caring, changing policy, learning about and implementing trauma-informed care. Parents are bringing in their kids at younger and younger ages so the abuse is stopped sooner. Parents are believing their kids. When my fellow SANE cries after a particularly harrowing case, I remind them that we are changing the outcomes, one survivor at a time. Studies SHOW that we do.
And it's ALL because some nurses in the early 90s decided sexual assault victims were a special, vulnerable population and it was worth the extra work (because the certification is both intense and entirely voluntary) to get them that care. So every day the way I see it, there is a reason to hope.
I had never heard of this crucial field of nursing before I worked at a Family Justice Center where DV and other survivors could go to one place instead of driving all over town. In one place one could go to get free help with domestic and sexual violence, social services, legal services, childcare and a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner on the spot. Brilliant!
This article speaks to me profoundly! I've stopped watching and reading the news. If I do, it is the lighter stories, the ones made to nurture the beauty in people!!
I've also found some groups that have common interrests as me, safe places to share my likes. Community is key to keeping myself hopeful that humanity isn't doomed!!
Thank you. That was brilliantly, beautifully written. It articulated exactly what I’ve been trying to, much better than I ever could have. It is both excellent activism and life affirming 🙏
I believe this is one of your best pieces of work to date, Zawn ❤️🙏
Something that has struck me this past month is how VERY much activism-shaming has been happening. Social media is rife with folks accusing other folks of not doing enough, or doing it wrong, or looking away, or not taking it seriously enough.
It's almost as if... oppressors... benefit...from victims and allies fighting amongst themselves and wasting their energy, rather than directing their finite energy where it matters most.
You probably won't be surprised to learn that I got several messages from people who were angry about how I did this post "wrong," by not recommending the specific resource they think I should have, not highlighting the experts they think I should have, etc. In one case, a woman unsubscribed because she thought I should have replaced the two Black Jewish women I highlighted in this piece (both advocates of Palestinian liberating) with a white Jewish man who advocates for the same. We need to call each other in to do better and I always want to do better, but the over the top rage I get from people who claim to be on my side can be quite demoralizing.
Yes I’ve noticed this too. People commenting on others posts, usually something to do with their job or personal life, and theres a stream of “what about Palestine/Israel?”. No matter what the person says, they’ll inevitably be met with angry responses. It’s a no-win situation at the moment. A few people I follow and respect immensely have given various opinions on how we should act, one has said that we are showing our privilege if we “look away”, but in between posts about Gaza does share some nice things. Another says we shouldn’t be talking about anything else, basically shaming anyone who posted their Spotify wrapped.
I post a few times a week, sharing verified information in the hopes of raising awareness… but I often feel like people who follow me must get sick of it, or roll their eyes at the lesbian activist sharing her outrage yet again. I know it shouldn’t matter, but I have yet to learn to block out those voices. It feels like nothing we do is right at the moment, people are so angry and taking it out on each other is wasted energy.
This is exactly how I’ve been feeling too, it’s nice to know there are many of us in the same position (although not nice to know we are all feeling so miserable!).
I feel like whatever I do is never enough. I have a toddler, and while I’m not working at the moment (or as my doctor says, I’m not in paid employment 😅) I am helping care for my elderly parents and homeschooling my niece part time, while dealing with my own chronic health issues. My mental health is not great, and it doesn’t take much for me to spiral. The other night I was watching a video of a gazan man holding his granddaughter (dec.) and I cried for ages. Sometimes it’s just paralysing. I try having a break from news/social media, but then we are told we are “selfish” or “privileged” for being able to turn away. As a people pleaser I feel constant guilt that I’m not doing the right thing, not doing enough.
Recently I was asked to list all of the charities I’d donated to this year. I haven’t got a lot of money, so I thought there might be 3 or 4. I went through my bank statements and emails, and realised I’d donated to 12 different charities/non-profits. I was shocked, but it gave me some perspective. I was doing what I could with what I had at the time. I think they say that if you want to change the world you have yo start with yourself. My sister always tells me I can’t fill from an empty cup, and she’s absolutely correct. Thanks for providing a safe space to discuss these topics Zawn 💜
I recommend reading Rebecca Solnit's "Hope in the Dark".
Also, are you a member of any kind if intentional community? A neighbourhood group, an anarchist collective, a congregation of any kind of progressive spiritual bent? We're not designed to do this kind of thing alone.
I feel this letter at my core. I truly believe the stress and unhappiness of where I live contributed to my cancer. I traveled last week to visit my grandchildren with my family. Coming back has been devastating. We have no community, no family to rely on, and I don’t know whether to venture into any activism work again because I’m afraid it might cause a relapse. This place I love causes people who fight against the power to either give up and leave or die. It’s just so sad. I’ve been deserted by most people here since Covid and cancer and I’m just tired of trying. I know this doesn’t help at all but I feel solidarity with this letter writer….so much solidarity.
Thank you so much for this excellent advice. The grief, loss, and hatred in the world is often overwhelming. As the primary caregiver for my adult disabled daughter, I have very little obvious capacity for any activism that would interfere with keeping her life as stable as possible.
What I do manage to do, is serve on my school district’s school board, and in that way be an ally to and a voice for all the kids here - especially BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ students and families. I keep two FB accounts, one of which is specifically for people living in or closely connected to this school district; on that account I make it very clear what I stand for and support. I make sure to like/share/comment positively on the posts of the LGBTQIA+ support center which, thank god, opened here a few years ago. It’s a small thing, but it’s what I can manage right now.
Hell yeah!
I love this. Can you recommend any age appropriate books for children age 1-4 on the importance of social activism and the pursuit of justice? I appreciate that many pieces of literature would be topic specific, but I would love to find different means of educating my girls. Thank you so much ❤️
I don’t know of any specific resources , but I can tell you what’s worked for my now adult daughter. I have always done whatever form of activism or involvement in the community I have been capable of at the time and always involved her from a very young age. I became a 100% solo mum when my daughter was a baby, and it was a struggle in every way. I wasn’t working at first and was pretty poor, but I did have a car (old and crappy, but it worked). I was living in a small apartment next to a pub so I knew some of the older regulars who had no family and I would offer to take them to hospital or medical appointments, or shopping; I had time and I enjoyed helping people.
Obviously, the baby was with me 24/7 so she grew up doing this. One woman needed a lift to the cemetery every week to visit her partner’s grave. This woman became my best friend over the years and I grieved her like a mother when she died many years later.
I did return to work but continued more formal volunteering by getting involved with a local single mums group which I still help run. Just being active in a community and even helping one person is always worthwhile, and I honestly get a lot out of it. I’d always had to volunteer and be proactive in my career as an artist so it was second nature as I became a mother.
My daughter, having seen this example has become a compassionate and caring young adult who I hope will continue with some form of awareness and helping others.
The books A Kids Book about Racism and all the others that followed, seem to be good primers on many topics.
Wangari’s Trees of Peace: A True Story from Africa by Jeanette Winter
The Peace Book by Todd Parr
Who is Malala Yousafzai? By Dinah Brown
The Butter Battle Book by Dr. Seuss
Who Was Anne Frank? By Ann Abramson
Editing my comment to add:
My Little Golden Book About Dolly Parton by Deborah Hopkinson & Monique Dong
My Little Golden Book About Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Shana Corey and Margaux Lucas
My Little Golden Book About Martin Luther King, Jr. by Bonnie Bade and Sue Cornelison
Second edit of my comment to add:
I used to plant trees with Casey Trees in Washington, DC, with my kids. They LOVED it. We got to plant trees at the National Zoo in DC and also at a garden called “Wangari’s Garden.” And other places like cemeteries and neighborhoods. There is probably a tree planting organization in your community. Your local librarian could locate that for you. :) they always need volunteers to help plant trees !!
beautiful. so well said. thank you.
Zawn,
I love you and your words so much. Thank you. ❤️
I absolutely love this answer! Thank you.
Bravo to you and the writer of the letter. Thankyou for expressing so clearly what many of us experience daily.
I always come back to a quote I saw online years ago. Probably a Tweet. Anyway, it was from a college professor of sociology or another Humanity field. And it was
You are all here because you have inside you at least a little bit of Wanting to Save The World.
And I am here to tell you that it's ok if you only save one person.
And that it's OK if that one person is you.
Save Yourself, so you're the best mom you can be to your kids. So they grow up to also want to save the world.
Save yourself so that when your friend is down in the oubliette of despair, you have a light and a ladder and you can help her get herself out. And so you realize that you can't "make her" grieve faster or feel less desperate, but you can make sure she's not alone.
Save yourself so you have the bandwidth to help your community, but remember that you are a helper and not a hero. You don't have to rush into a burning building or singlehandedly stop the police from raiding the homes of unhoused neighbors. You probably won't. You almost certainly can't. But you can lobby for better policies and go to City Council and maybe run for local office.
I have also been on a Media Diet since before the 2016 election, and it really does give me time to THINK and focus and plan. I promise that shutting off the 24/7 deluge of horror won't make you oblivious or uninformed. The information is always there. You just don't have to consume it every waking moment. And being able to be selective about what you read or see and what sources you trust will actually make you better at parsing the truth of nuanced situations.
Find a group of like-minded locals who are already doing the work and lend them your skills. Tell them what you are good at and how much time/money you really have available. Ask them what they need from you with your skills. Even a couple of hours a week making phone calls can actually help make a difference. You don't have to do some Big Important Thing to be part of big things. And trying to reinvent the wheel by starting a movement/group of your own is both exhausting and distracting from the work of people who have been doing it.
It is OK if the only person you save is you.
And it is more than sufficient to do what you can, where and when you can.
Thank you for writing all those words out (Zawn's letter and Shaun's comment). I have been on a journey the last 13 years of saving myself from complicated health issues and an abusive marriage, so I can be the best I can be for my two kids and teaching them the right ways of thinking. I'm 3 years post-divorce now and all three of us are THRIVING. I think it is so important to emphasize to women drowning in life or illness and despairing about ever improving their own circumstances (let alone the world) that the behind the scenes stuff that goes unrecognized and often criticized (like caring for oneself and so much of child rearing) IS making a difference. We cannot help others breathe if we ourselves are suffocating. Saving ourselves is a worthy cause!
That’s beautiful. There is so much wrong here I do forget that small acts of kindness and courage matter. 💜
Reader, I feel you. I also had a hard time with how much I had to scale back activism and volunteer work after becoming a parent. I was raised to think, if you're feeling down, look for some way to help others. Get involved in something and volunteer. When you're parenting little ones, that's obviously not always viable. A friend reminded me, though, that raising children *is* essentially volunteer work on behalf of humanity, and it's some of the most important work that can be done. When I was able to rethink my parenting as trying to enact social justice in the most local and personal of ways helped.
I've also found some very small-scale ways that I can still be involved. We have community fridges/ pantries in our neighborhood that I'll contribute to. Sure, I usually can't share much beyond a few items, but hopefully it's helped someone who really needed it. And I take my son with me so he learns. Neighbors that have little free libraries have often brought immense happiness to me and my son when we've discovered new books there, and I hope the ones I've dropped off in exchange have brought enjoyment to others. Sometimes it's hard to recognize the value because it's not making headlines or doing anything earth-moving, but often it's the sustained actions over time that keep people going.
With the media diet, I'm someone who'd have a really hard time shutting out news entirely -- I'm just too driven by a need to know. So if that's the case for you, too, I'd recommend being really selective about when you consume it (I can't first thing in the morning. I need to at least start the day off without facing the horrors of the world. I'm better at dealing with the news mid-day/ afternoon or evening) and making it a point to find media that also captures the positives and progress happening. I find local media, and some alternative/ independent media is good for often highlighting organizations or individuals involved in making things better. Stories like that help remind me, even when it doesn't feel like it, others do care and want to improve the world.
One other thing -- I appreciated so much how Zawn highlights the work of her children's nanny in enabling her husband to fight against Cop City. I think our individualistic society has a tendency to emphasize people (usually men, or those with some sort of privilege) in the public view, taking action in recognizable ways as being the ones that affect change. But those individuals usually have a community of support around them -- whether it's someone caring for their children so they can work or a trusted friend listening and offering counsel, spouses and family members who help them, etc. The great heroes of any era didn't just spring up and make the world better all on their own. The more we can attend to how people in communities make change happen, the more knowledge we have about how to improve things.
Yes! This is the very definition of community. I've also been explaining to my first grader that the best contribution she can make to stopping cop city is to willingly spend Saturday out with me, without guilting her dad for being unable to come, so that he can work on brief writing. It's amazing how explaining this to her has changed her attitude. It takes all of us, working together, supporting each other, making life easier for people who take on the biggest share of the labor.
That's great! And I hope your husband is successful. The tactics used against the Cop City protesters have been really frightening
I follow FutureCube. They are a news source explicitly focused on real, positive news. Not the fluffy "It's a sunshiney day!" bullshit. They're the only source I follow for climate and environment, for example, because while they briefly touch on things like the fact that the US refuses to engage in the Paris Climate Accord, they then quickly move on to the dozens of countries who have used the national park system to protect their most vulnerable habitats. Yes, even countries we think of as "poor" or "third world" or too war-torn to care about these things.
Also, I have more good news: I am a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. This specific, advanced role for nurses was established in the early 90s. At the time, there were only about 75 nurses in the NATION with this skillset. Now, there are thousands and still growing. My class was the largest my hospital had ever taught, and we even had a labor and delivery nurse who audited the class (it's usually only open to ER nurses because we have the clinical base for learning the skills). So that means more and more are available so survivors never have to wait for care. Our SANE coordinator explained that this is good, as we are seeing more and more people come after their assaults for care--not because the incidence has increased, but because people feel safer coming in to be seen. That is the DIRECT result of people caring, changing policy, learning about and implementing trauma-informed care. Parents are bringing in their kids at younger and younger ages so the abuse is stopped sooner. Parents are believing their kids. When my fellow SANE cries after a particularly harrowing case, I remind them that we are changing the outcomes, one survivor at a time. Studies SHOW that we do.
And it's ALL because some nurses in the early 90s decided sexual assault victims were a special, vulnerable population and it was worth the extra work (because the certification is both intense and entirely voluntary) to get them that care. So every day the way I see it, there is a reason to hope.
Wowza! Super inspiring and could be the norm!
I had never heard of this crucial field of nursing before I worked at a Family Justice Center where DV and other survivors could go to one place instead of driving all over town. In one place one could go to get free help with domestic and sexual violence, social services, legal services, childcare and a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner on the spot. Brilliant!
Thank you!
I am getting goosebumps reading this. Thank you for what you do.
Where can I find FutureCube please?
This article speaks to me profoundly! I've stopped watching and reading the news. If I do, it is the lighter stories, the ones made to nurture the beauty in people!!
I've also found some groups that have common interrests as me, safe places to share my likes. Community is key to keeping myself hopeful that humanity isn't doomed!!
Sending a huge hug to anyone who needs it!!
Thank you. That was brilliantly, beautifully written. It articulated exactly what I’ve been trying to, much better than I ever could have. It is both excellent activism and life affirming 🙏
I believe this is one of your best pieces of work to date, Zawn ❤️🙏
Something that has struck me this past month is how VERY much activism-shaming has been happening. Social media is rife with folks accusing other folks of not doing enough, or doing it wrong, or looking away, or not taking it seriously enough.
It's almost as if... oppressors... benefit...from victims and allies fighting amongst themselves and wasting their energy, rather than directing their finite energy where it matters most.
You probably won't be surprised to learn that I got several messages from people who were angry about how I did this post "wrong," by not recommending the specific resource they think I should have, not highlighting the experts they think I should have, etc. In one case, a woman unsubscribed because she thought I should have replaced the two Black Jewish women I highlighted in this piece (both advocates of Palestinian liberating) with a white Jewish man who advocates for the same. We need to call each other in to do better and I always want to do better, but the over the top rage I get from people who claim to be on my side can be quite demoralizing.
I am having similar experiences with a friend and it’s hard.
Yes I’ve noticed this too. People commenting on others posts, usually something to do with their job or personal life, and theres a stream of “what about Palestine/Israel?”. No matter what the person says, they’ll inevitably be met with angry responses. It’s a no-win situation at the moment. A few people I follow and respect immensely have given various opinions on how we should act, one has said that we are showing our privilege if we “look away”, but in between posts about Gaza does share some nice things. Another says we shouldn’t be talking about anything else, basically shaming anyone who posted their Spotify wrapped.
I post a few times a week, sharing verified information in the hopes of raising awareness… but I often feel like people who follow me must get sick of it, or roll their eyes at the lesbian activist sharing her outrage yet again. I know it shouldn’t matter, but I have yet to learn to block out those voices. It feels like nothing we do is right at the moment, people are so angry and taking it out on each other is wasted energy.
This is exactly how I’ve been feeling too, it’s nice to know there are many of us in the same position (although not nice to know we are all feeling so miserable!).
I feel like whatever I do is never enough. I have a toddler, and while I’m not working at the moment (or as my doctor says, I’m not in paid employment 😅) I am helping care for my elderly parents and homeschooling my niece part time, while dealing with my own chronic health issues. My mental health is not great, and it doesn’t take much for me to spiral. The other night I was watching a video of a gazan man holding his granddaughter (dec.) and I cried for ages. Sometimes it’s just paralysing. I try having a break from news/social media, but then we are told we are “selfish” or “privileged” for being able to turn away. As a people pleaser I feel constant guilt that I’m not doing the right thing, not doing enough.
Recently I was asked to list all of the charities I’d donated to this year. I haven’t got a lot of money, so I thought there might be 3 or 4. I went through my bank statements and emails, and realised I’d donated to 12 different charities/non-profits. I was shocked, but it gave me some perspective. I was doing what I could with what I had at the time. I think they say that if you want to change the world you have yo start with yourself. My sister always tells me I can’t fill from an empty cup, and she’s absolutely correct. Thanks for providing a safe space to discuss these topics Zawn 💜