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"We just have different values." My husband's repeated mantra after the few times he watches them solo he has them eating only potato chips for dinner; they watch TV and/or are told to "find something to do" while he hyperfocuses on YouTube videos; they're not put to bed until I either come back or at the minimum, very late (when I do 99.9% of all mornings and wake ups with them, so this turns into even earlier wake ups for me).

We sure had similar values on how we intended to raise the kids before we had them 🤔

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We agreed on many things BEFORE we had them. I was too unwell to protest for many months, by which time the patterns had set in and I was too tired to do the rigorous research required to use strong enough and concise enough words/theories to contradict the constant patriarchal messages, excuses, and justifications from all corners (MIL and other new mothers included). Not one of the agreed scenarios eventuated, not even the agreement that he'd take 2 weeks leave after the birth. It was booked, his employer approved it, but he went back after 5 days because it was "boring" and there was "nothing to do". Yes, looking after kids is indeed boring. If only I could do that 20 year period over again.

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What about the shit father who literally just doesn't care that he's destroying his kids and will end up having them hate him?

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