Yes. Yes. 1000 times yes. I’m Australian so I got semi-solutions to a lot of this. Free pregnancy care and birth care for both babies, government mat leave for both. My partner didn’t let me do anything except feed my babies for months after they were born and honestly? I feel I had an easier time of the new born period than a lot of women. It was still hard, but when those problems are solved I can attest it makes an enormous difference. I can’t speak for everyone’s birthing experience in Australia but both the hospitals I went to were very low intervention. My second was 11 days over due and they weren’t even pushing an induction. The government here recently changed from 18 weeks paid mat leave to 26 (staggered over the next few years) and I’m DELIGHTED. I missed out and plenty of people are pissed about it and I’m like no! That’s the point! I want more for the next generation. I want a year of paid mat leave.
I'm also Australian and I weep for my US sisters. I didn't pay a cent for my second birth at a public hospital (went private and paid a few thousand with my first, and realised there is no need when we have such a good public system). Unfortunately both were high intervention, I had gestational diabetes, but overall there was minimal stress with health care. For that I am truly thankful.
We also get paid government maternity leave, which the commenter above mentioned, and some workplaces have their own maternity leave policies.
I am dumbfounded that for an apparent world leader (USA) birthing people and those able to get pregnant are so unsupported. Government policy can make the world of difference and yet, it is absent! It is shameful!!
I’m Aussie too, and while I very much agree with the other comments about our system being very generous, there are still fundamental flaws within the medical system with how those who give birth are treated.
I’m a solo Mum (by choice) and during my fertility procedures everyone around me was SO supportive. Then I got pregnant and all of my friends and family showered me with excitement and love. Even when I had anxiety about doing it on my own, my boss would say “most of us already do, even if we are married!” and the chorus of “we’ll be there for you!” “I’ll babysit! Just call me!”.
The day I came home from hospital was the loneliest I’ve ever felt in my life. Once my family left, the realisation that I was totally alone with this little person was overwhelming. Over the next 4 months I fell into the deepest depression, most of my friends and colleagues disappeared, even when I reached out from the massive black hole I was in. I had two friends visit me at home. My closest friends at work were radio silent. One if my closest friends at the time (who is a midwife of many years) completely ghosted me, even though I tried many times to catch-up with her. Since then I’ve had my Mum, sometimes my older sisters, and distant support from my twin who lives 3000kms away. I’m not saying the world revolves around me, but I was shocked at how bloody lonely it was in those early months. My son was waking every 40 minutes too, and most nights I would cry while feeding because it was so painful.
My follow up (post emergency caesarean) was a 5 minute phone call with the ObGyn.
Thankfully I had a brilliant GP who was all over my PPA and PPD. My boss (who was a good friend prior) gave my managerial role away that I’d been in for 6 years.
I was so disillusioned by it all that I left and found another job within a government agency. It was an eye opening look into how they talk big about diversity and “supporting working Mothers/parents”, however I was actively passed over for promotion due to a few sick/carers leave days. I know it shouldn’t surprise me, but my career and employment prospects disappeared when I became a Mum. I wouldn’t change anything, my son is my world and is a million times more important than work, but it still makes me so mad that as a semi-intelligent, hardworking and dedicated woman, I can’t find a job.
Apologies for the rant, but it all makes me so mad! And they wonder why we are so “emotional” 😑
My heart goes out to you! Big big hug. People are very very fickle. The system we live in is designed for it to be so. I'm so sorry mommas are treated so horrendously.
I feel you. I'm also shocked, shocked by the about of people that say "just let me know when you need help", "I'm just a phone call away". My baby is 7 months now, and all my friends haven't even come to see me or send a gift because they are too busy, I send messages and they don't reply for days. Thankfully I have an o line community of strong feminist women here that provide emotional support and validation when I need it. I can't 100 percent blame my friends, they are mothers too and they have deadbeat partners so are struggling themselves to manage it all. But gosh, we all need help, we need a community of people that get it, we need new mamas support in the postpartum period. I think in the Netherlands I read that their insurance gives them a mothers helper in thr first month to help with practical things in the home and baby so mother can recover. We need people to dot on mother and not only on thr baby. My mum cam for q weeks and cooked, cleaned, cuddled me, braided my hair, I'm so grateful for her. We definitely need a village that rises up and support and nurture mothers.
I agree 100%! Im also in an online group and they’ve provided a lot of comfort and solidarity. We often talk about finding a block of land and building a Mums and kids only community! How amazing would that be, go back to our roots and look after each other. I reckon so many of our friends would have more time and energy for themselves and each other if they got rid of their useless “man babies”. I know mine would, and they’d be so much happier for it.
Yes. Yes. 1000 times yes. I’m Australian so I got semi-solutions to a lot of this. Free pregnancy care and birth care for both babies, government mat leave for both. My partner didn’t let me do anything except feed my babies for months after they were born and honestly? I feel I had an easier time of the new born period than a lot of women. It was still hard, but when those problems are solved I can attest it makes an enormous difference. I can’t speak for everyone’s birthing experience in Australia but both the hospitals I went to were very low intervention. My second was 11 days over due and they weren’t even pushing an induction. The government here recently changed from 18 weeks paid mat leave to 26 (staggered over the next few years) and I’m DELIGHTED. I missed out and plenty of people are pissed about it and I’m like no! That’s the point! I want more for the next generation. I want a year of paid mat leave.
I'm also Australian and I weep for my US sisters. I didn't pay a cent for my second birth at a public hospital (went private and paid a few thousand with my first, and realised there is no need when we have such a good public system). Unfortunately both were high intervention, I had gestational diabetes, but overall there was minimal stress with health care. For that I am truly thankful.
We also get paid government maternity leave, which the commenter above mentioned, and some workplaces have their own maternity leave policies.
I am dumbfounded that for an apparent world leader (USA) birthing people and those able to get pregnant are so unsupported. Government policy can make the world of difference and yet, it is absent! It is shameful!!
I’m Aussie too, and while I very much agree with the other comments about our system being very generous, there are still fundamental flaws within the medical system with how those who give birth are treated.
I’m a solo Mum (by choice) and during my fertility procedures everyone around me was SO supportive. Then I got pregnant and all of my friends and family showered me with excitement and love. Even when I had anxiety about doing it on my own, my boss would say “most of us already do, even if we are married!” and the chorus of “we’ll be there for you!” “I’ll babysit! Just call me!”.
The day I came home from hospital was the loneliest I’ve ever felt in my life. Once my family left, the realisation that I was totally alone with this little person was overwhelming. Over the next 4 months I fell into the deepest depression, most of my friends and colleagues disappeared, even when I reached out from the massive black hole I was in. I had two friends visit me at home. My closest friends at work were radio silent. One if my closest friends at the time (who is a midwife of many years) completely ghosted me, even though I tried many times to catch-up with her. Since then I’ve had my Mum, sometimes my older sisters, and distant support from my twin who lives 3000kms away. I’m not saying the world revolves around me, but I was shocked at how bloody lonely it was in those early months. My son was waking every 40 minutes too, and most nights I would cry while feeding because it was so painful.
My follow up (post emergency caesarean) was a 5 minute phone call with the ObGyn.
Thankfully I had a brilliant GP who was all over my PPA and PPD. My boss (who was a good friend prior) gave my managerial role away that I’d been in for 6 years.
I was so disillusioned by it all that I left and found another job within a government agency. It was an eye opening look into how they talk big about diversity and “supporting working Mothers/parents”, however I was actively passed over for promotion due to a few sick/carers leave days. I know it shouldn’t surprise me, but my career and employment prospects disappeared when I became a Mum. I wouldn’t change anything, my son is my world and is a million times more important than work, but it still makes me so mad that as a semi-intelligent, hardworking and dedicated woman, I can’t find a job.
Apologies for the rant, but it all makes me so mad! And they wonder why we are so “emotional” 😑
My heart goes out to you! Big big hug. People are very very fickle. The system we live in is designed for it to be so. I'm so sorry mommas are treated so horrendously.
Thank you so much ♥️
I feel you. I'm also shocked, shocked by the about of people that say "just let me know when you need help", "I'm just a phone call away". My baby is 7 months now, and all my friends haven't even come to see me or send a gift because they are too busy, I send messages and they don't reply for days. Thankfully I have an o line community of strong feminist women here that provide emotional support and validation when I need it. I can't 100 percent blame my friends, they are mothers too and they have deadbeat partners so are struggling themselves to manage it all. But gosh, we all need help, we need a community of people that get it, we need new mamas support in the postpartum period. I think in the Netherlands I read that their insurance gives them a mothers helper in thr first month to help with practical things in the home and baby so mother can recover. We need people to dot on mother and not only on thr baby. My mum cam for q weeks and cooked, cleaned, cuddled me, braided my hair, I'm so grateful for her. We definitely need a village that rises up and support and nurture mothers.
I agree 100%! Im also in an online group and they’ve provided a lot of comfort and solidarity. We often talk about finding a block of land and building a Mums and kids only community! How amazing would that be, go back to our roots and look after each other. I reckon so many of our friends would have more time and energy for themselves and each other if they got rid of their useless “man babies”. I know mine would, and they’d be so much happier for it.