'My ex was crazy!' What to do about a partner who blames his ex for everything

Spoiler alert: She wasn't crazy. At least not until he drove her to it.

“My ex was crazy! She had borderline personality disorder and would just go nuts over everything!”

“My ex attacked me all the time. She says I was abusive but she was the real abuser.”

“Oh, don’t even talk to her. She’s fucking crazy.”

“My relationship ended because she’s a lunatic and a liar.”

Isn’t it interesting how almost every woman has been assaulted by a man, but it’s women who get framed as lunatics, overreactive liars, and unhinged monsters?

If you’re dating someone who says his ex was crazy, this is a huge red flag, and almost always reason to end the relationship. Are some women mentally ill? Absolutely, just like some men. But mental illness alone does not explain the end of a relationship, and a person who cannot take any accountability at all for what happened in his last relationship is a person who can’t take accountability ever.

I’m running a membership special this month; anyone who purchases a new subscription will get free feminist merchandise (stickers, etc). Just email zawn@zawn.net with your mailing address after you make your purchase. This includes gift subscriptions.