My parents make fatphobic comments and insult my appearance: Bad Advice Friday paid subscriber bonus

A reader's parents insult her body--and an advice columnist suggests maybe they're entitled to continue commenting on her body

Bad Advice Friday is a twist on my usual Feminist Advice Friday. In this semi-regular column, I look at the bad advice other columnists have given. The bad advice is often rooted in patriarchal norms, in the idea that women’s emotions really don’t matter, and in the cultural practice of centering men’s desires at the expense of women’s needs. You can find a complete list of previous bad advice columns here.

The problem

In this week’s column over at Slate, the letter writer wants to know when it’s time to share with your parents how they make you feel. This is her specific question. They share that they recently had gastric bypass surgery and lost 100 pounds. They’re still “plus-sized,” and often rely on food as a source of comfort when stressed.

Their parents, especially their dad, guilt and shame them about their diet and their body. They want to know how to address this issue—and whether doing so might be fruitful.