The survey paints a portrait of life that is better, safer, and happier after divorce, of a divorce process that can be scary and abusive, but of overwhelmingly positive long-term outcomes for women.
In marriage, we are told that it’s the woman’s role to care for and keep the home and tend to children. That’s her natural role, that’s what makes her happiest, that’s what she’s good at. Woman is 100% mother and mother is 100% the caretaker of children. Father on the other hand is the protector and provider. He doesn’t have any responsibility towards his children (0%) regarding their care and nurturance. He provides by working outside the home, and it’s just a coincidence that this also provides him opportunities to be recognized as a competent and successful individual economically, politically, religiously, academically, intellectually, artistically, technologically, scientifically by society. He doesn’t have to do anything inside his home regarding his children because he works his ass off providing financially for a wife and children he owes *nothing* to emotionally.
From a different post: “They think they should get to have kids without having to be financially responsible for them, all while claiming to be alphas whose financial contributions are so valuable that they shouldn’t be required to do anything at home.”
“ In general, men got less custody than they sought, but their custody arrangements gave them more time with their children than they had previously spent.”
But somehow, magically, in divorce, all that changes. Men and women become equal in the social role of parent, each deserving 50% of the child, like the famous story from the Bible showcasing the wisdom of Solomon. The mother should provide 50% or more of the child’s financial maintenance (why?) and the father must physically have the child (to do what?) 50% of the time. To suggest otherwise is, according to some men, oppressing fathers. But they can’t explain how. If men didn’t evolve to care for children, only to pay for them through their well compensated efforts outside the home, what is the problem with them paying child support and moving on? And if it’s good for children to be cared for by their fathers, how does it then square that men shouldn’t be expected do any housework or childcare *while they are married?*
Why does it say that "two people reported the man getting more than joint custody" but also say "none of the men who sought sole or primary custody got it"? Does it mean that the court granted sole or primary custody to two fathers who didn't even request it?
I think there may also have been one where she said he did not seek it, but got it. Given the tiny number we can't clean anything from this. She might have just checked the wrong box.
This is great info! What about the final costs of divorce when using lawyers vs mediation vs any other options? And how much child support was affected by using lawyers vs mediation.
In marriage, we are told that it’s the woman’s role to care for and keep the home and tend to children. That’s her natural role, that’s what makes her happiest, that’s what she’s good at. Woman is 100% mother and mother is 100% the caretaker of children. Father on the other hand is the protector and provider. He doesn’t have any responsibility towards his children (0%) regarding their care and nurturance. He provides by working outside the home, and it’s just a coincidence that this also provides him opportunities to be recognized as a competent and successful individual economically, politically, religiously, academically, intellectually, artistically, technologically, scientifically by society. He doesn’t have to do anything inside his home regarding his children because he works his ass off providing financially for a wife and children he owes *nothing* to emotionally.
From a different post: “They think they should get to have kids without having to be financially responsible for them, all while claiming to be alphas whose financial contributions are so valuable that they shouldn’t be required to do anything at home.”
“ In general, men got less custody than they sought, but their custody arrangements gave them more time with their children than they had previously spent.”
But somehow, magically, in divorce, all that changes. Men and women become equal in the social role of parent, each deserving 50% of the child, like the famous story from the Bible showcasing the wisdom of Solomon. The mother should provide 50% or more of the child’s financial maintenance (why?) and the father must physically have the child (to do what?) 50% of the time. To suggest otherwise is, according to some men, oppressing fathers. But they can’t explain how. If men didn’t evolve to care for children, only to pay for them through their well compensated efforts outside the home, what is the problem with them paying child support and moving on? And if it’s good for children to be cared for by their fathers, how does it then square that men shouldn’t be expected do any housework or childcare *while they are married?*
Why does it say that "two people reported the man getting more than joint custody" but also say "none of the men who sought sole or primary custody got it"? Does it mean that the court granted sole or primary custody to two fathers who didn't even request it?
These people had custody arrangements where the father got slightly more custody--60/40ish, not just the weekend visitation of primary/sole custody
I think there may also have been one where she said he did not seek it, but got it. Given the tiny number we can't clean anything from this. She might have just checked the wrong box.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.
This is great info! What about the final costs of divorce when using lawyers vs mediation vs any other options? And how much child support was affected by using lawyers vs mediation.