Subscriber Chat: What do you want to see more of here? Plus, my most controversial posts
A monthly subscriber chat to discuss whatever's on your mind in a safe place
Welcome to this month’s subscriber chat! This is the only Substack post I make where I allow comments from anyone. The idea behind these posts is that discussion on Facebook is inherently public; it’s under your real name, and your husband, mother-in-law, and boss may see it.
Here, you can comment anonymously, and it won’t show up in your Facebook feed. So it’s a good chance to be honest about what’s going on in your life, how sexism is affecting you, etc.
This month, I want to hear from you about what content you want more of. Specifically, if you could get me to write 1,000 to 2,000 words about anything at all, what would it be?
If you’re new around here, you already know that I write about feminism, marriage, and motherhood, but I am a career writer with a ton of hobbies, so I have interests/experience/expertise in a lot of topics! I’m happy to write on any of those (although if there were interest, I’d probably be happy to write about many topics I barely understand at all). Some topics that I know a lot about or have written about before include:
reproductive justice, especially abortion research and birth justice
sexual health
rape generally—how it affects well-being, how it’s not understood, helping people survive rape
attachment/gentle parenting
ALL THINGS PLANTS. I own at least 5,000 plants, 500 of which are orchids.
primatology and evolutionary biology
philosophy, especially philosophy of science (it’s my degree!)
life as a writer/making a career as a writer
nonviolent communication (also, violent communication, which is my preferred style when dealing with sexist men)
planners/planning/time management. I love paper planners. I’m also a neurodivergent who is extremely, intensely, stunningly productive, and I love spreading the Gospel of getting more done more quickly so you can enjoy more of your life, because fuck the capitalist idea that you have to work till you drop.
So I’m happy to tie these into whatever your pet topic is.
I also thought my readers might enjoy a glimpse into the response I get for my writing. I can see statistics on which posts cause people to unsubscribe. I am also getting increasingly more hate mail (which I consider a sign that I’m doing something right!) Over the past three months, these have been the topics that have gotten me the most blowback:
“I’m not attracted to my husband because he gained weight” I had to delete more than three dozen aggressively and often violently fatphobic comments, and got multiple screeds in my inbox telling me how terrible I am for standing against fatphobia. Good riddance to those who cannot see the full humanity of all people, and who think anyone owes another person “health.”
Saying it is racist to sleep with racists. This was a discussion in my member support group, and several people left the group over my (I thought) rather inoffensive statement that if you sleep with a racist, you’re supporting and defending racism. Happy to say goodbye to racists, and to lose any amount of money to get rid of them.
What Heterosexual Men Need to Know When Their Partners Lose Interest in Sex. This one recently made the rounds in a bunch of incel groups. These dudes always out themselves as not exactly heterosexual so quickly with their disgusting comments about women’s bodies. Dudes. There’s a word for people who are not actually attracted to women…
“Do you have any advice for feminist, gentle parenting?” People always get mad when I talk about parenting because, weirdly, they seem to think a page labeled Liberating Motherhood should never actually write about being a mother. Children are people, even when that fact is inconvenient.
“My husband doesn’t do anything when he’s sick—and he’s sick all the time.” This got a lot of feedback insisting he must be neurodivergent. Neurodivergent women never get this kind of pass, and the information the reader gave me in DMs made it VERY clear that he is very much both neurotypical and not dealing with any kind of chronic health issues. I appreciate the effort to raise awareness, but I’m getting really tired of the drive to ALWAYS look for a way to excuse men’s behavior (and to label women’s righteous anger as somehow unfair).
So, friends, what’s going on with you? Do you have questions for me? Anything you’d like me to write about?
If you put it like that, I'd like to now your views on the price of inequality, please.
Edit: Financial inequality (there are several, thought I might specify)
Oh the last one please - how to get more done quickly so you can go live your life