I feel like this was a tribute to women like me in the middle of divorce. I teared up when you said that it takes a Herculean effort for a woman to leave a marriage - SO validating. The reality is that I didn’t want to leave but if I didn’t I would have fully lost myself. Thank you 🥹
I am right with you in this place and space 100% In my case he keeps projecting, being passive aggressive and saying, okay, this is what you want.” Which is the biggest LIE. The Herculean efforts prove that. I continue to remind him this is what was needed. This is a RESPONSE. I can’t get over how they make their stupid and selfish abusive DELIBERATE choices over and over, then make judgmental statements about how we choose to respond to those choices.
Yes I get the “well this was your choice.” Hmmmm after 5 years of marital therapy with little change was it really my choice??? Or a last ditch effort at self preservation??
These posts just keep getting better and better, more and more lit 🔥 by the minute.
I appreciate how you are making all these nuances and invisible sources of suffering more visible, clear, and easy to understand. This really helps soothe my fear, shame, worry and guilt that all the badness and fallout will reflect negatively on me despite my Herculean efforts in desperately trying to make things work. 🙏🏽
This was an incredibly validating article to read. Thank you! I am in the middle of a divorce and my husband was also "blindsided" even though we did couples therapy and I tried explaining it to him over and over. He and his friends have all accused me of cheating on him, which I did not do. In a way, I think he kind of wished that I had been having an affair so that he could blame our divorce on that instead of looking at himself. He has completely made himself the victim in our relationship.
I feel like this was a tribute to women like me in the middle of divorce. I teared up when you said that it takes a Herculean effort for a woman to leave a marriage - SO validating. The reality is that I didn’t want to leave but if I didn’t I would have fully lost myself. Thank you 🥹
I am right with you in this place and space 100% In my case he keeps projecting, being passive aggressive and saying, okay, this is what you want.” Which is the biggest LIE. The Herculean efforts prove that. I continue to remind him this is what was needed. This is a RESPONSE. I can’t get over how they make their stupid and selfish abusive DELIBERATE choices over and over, then make judgmental statements about how we choose to respond to those choices.
Yes I get the “well this was your choice.” Hmmmm after 5 years of marital therapy with little change was it really my choice??? Or a last ditch effort at self preservation??
These posts just keep getting better and better, more and more lit 🔥 by the minute.
I appreciate how you are making all these nuances and invisible sources of suffering more visible, clear, and easy to understand. This really helps soothe my fear, shame, worry and guilt that all the badness and fallout will reflect negatively on me despite my Herculean efforts in desperately trying to make things work. 🙏🏽
This was an incredibly validating article to read. Thank you! I am in the middle of a divorce and my husband was also "blindsided" even though we did couples therapy and I tried explaining it to him over and over. He and his friends have all accused me of cheating on him, which I did not do. In a way, I think he kind of wished that I had been having an affair so that he could blame our divorce on that instead of looking at himself. He has completely made himself the victim in our relationship.