No matter how you birth, it's wrong. No matter what you do, it's dangerous. Patriarchy will stop at nothing to turn a source of power into a source of trauma.
Thank you so much for this one. ❤️ I have major childbirth trauma but after 4 years I am well enough to face it.
I just started listening and will surely have other comments, but this gave me pause-20.000 dollars? How can anyone afford to give birth in the US?? What about poor people? Or even lower middle class? I know I sound naive but I come from the EU country where childbirth (like most of healthcare) is still free (though arguably, and also slowly quietly taken away but for now).
This is exactly why many young women in the US are choosing not to have children- it is simply unaffordable, no affordable healthcare, childcare or paid parental leave. Our government's response to falling birth rates seems to be to ban abortions, to force birth instead of providing a society that makes birthing and raising children possible and not traumatic. I'm in California and if you are very poor there is MediCal with pretty good coverage at little or no cost. The lower middle class is who really bears the brunt financially, insurance premiums are insanely high- my cousin pays $2500 a month for a family of 4, per month ($30,000 per year)- that's rent or a mortgage- this is just the monthly premium- there are still out of pocket costs if you actually need care. Her medical bill for her first daughter's birth was over $40,000 because her plan to have a home birth didn't go well and she needed to go to a hospital- neither she nor her midwife had checked ahead of time to see which hospital was in her insurance's network. So the cost was fully charged to her for choosing the nearest hospital which didn't happen to be in her "network' so her insurance wouldn't cover the cost. The leading cause of bankruptcy in the US is medical expenses. Its a hellscape here and getting worse. I literally got married when I found out I was pregnant and wanted the baby to the baby's father because he had and has, great union provided heath insurance. I would probably not have married him except that I needed medical coverage to have a child. I am basically trapped in a very unhappy patriarchal marriage because of needing health insurance and support for myself and my daughter. It's wild. Zawn's work is so validating for me it's been a life saver!
Granted, this happened in the ‘70s, but when my mom had my sister, she had to ask to be discharged from the hospital less than 24 hours later because my parents couldn’t afford another night. On top of it, the woman in the next bed shamed her for being “irresponsible.” What a sad story.
I had a relatively inexpensive birth and health insurance, and even with what would be considered a lower-mid-range middle class salary for my area, it took nearly 3 years to pay off the medical debt for my child's birth. And I actually had a better scenario than most in the US have. It is truly awful in terms of Healthcare here -- except for the wealthy and fortunate. Please let our horror stories here be fodder for keeping subsidized/ public health are in the EU.
I wish I had screamed at my ex-husband when he left me alone after a 3 day birth, he left with his MOTHER because he was TIRED and needed to rest. I had an emergency caesarean after a LONG active labour and hospital staff brought him a MATTRESS so he could SLEEP on the floor for most of my labour. He left straight after birth. My baby was SCREAMING next to me and due to the caesarean I could do nothing and no nurse came to help me. Why did I accept such HEINOUS abuse! Please, women- yell and scream. Stop this abuse.
I think it was Zawn who said this: the whole hospital birth process is set up to be convenient for the doctors and the insurance companies (and the hospital's legal team, probably). Lately, I've been wondering, does ANY mammal on god's green earth deliver a baby while lying on her back? I don't know, but that position sure seems to be the easiest for the medical staff. The whole situation is disgusting.
Pretty much the same scenario; 3 days of false labor and sweeping membranes; full labor for 15 hours and an episiotomy. He had to go home and sleep. His sister stayed with me. The next day we go home. I’m up all night and ask him at about 6 in the morning to hold her; he says he can’t without falling asleep. I had to call my mil. I should have left then instead of hoping it would get better for 6 years and 2 years of contemplating divorce.
I’m curious if there’s stats on what parts of the country or what states are most supportive of women in regards to pregnancy and birth (outside of abortion choice )
I had all 4 of my babies at home w/midwives bc I did not trust the medical professionals. We paid about $5k per baby. Also bc of the bright lights, strangers coming into my room and checking my pelvis. So I protected myself from that but I needed to be home since I already had CPTSD and an abusive spouse. 💔
This is incredibly important information. Is there a transcript available?
If you navigate to the top of the page, just under the title, there's a button to view the transcript :-)
Thank you so much for this one. ❤️ I have major childbirth trauma but after 4 years I am well enough to face it.
I just started listening and will surely have other comments, but this gave me pause-20.000 dollars? How can anyone afford to give birth in the US?? What about poor people? Or even lower middle class? I know I sound naive but I come from the EU country where childbirth (like most of healthcare) is still free (though arguably, and also slowly quietly taken away but for now).
This is exactly why many young women in the US are choosing not to have children- it is simply unaffordable, no affordable healthcare, childcare or paid parental leave. Our government's response to falling birth rates seems to be to ban abortions, to force birth instead of providing a society that makes birthing and raising children possible and not traumatic. I'm in California and if you are very poor there is MediCal with pretty good coverage at little or no cost. The lower middle class is who really bears the brunt financially, insurance premiums are insanely high- my cousin pays $2500 a month for a family of 4, per month ($30,000 per year)- that's rent or a mortgage- this is just the monthly premium- there are still out of pocket costs if you actually need care. Her medical bill for her first daughter's birth was over $40,000 because her plan to have a home birth didn't go well and she needed to go to a hospital- neither she nor her midwife had checked ahead of time to see which hospital was in her insurance's network. So the cost was fully charged to her for choosing the nearest hospital which didn't happen to be in her "network' so her insurance wouldn't cover the cost. The leading cause of bankruptcy in the US is medical expenses. Its a hellscape here and getting worse. I literally got married when I found out I was pregnant and wanted the baby to the baby's father because he had and has, great union provided heath insurance. I would probably not have married him except that I needed medical coverage to have a child. I am basically trapped in a very unhappy patriarchal marriage because of needing health insurance and support for myself and my daughter. It's wild. Zawn's work is so validating for me it's been a life saver!
Granted, this happened in the ‘70s, but when my mom had my sister, she had to ask to be discharged from the hospital less than 24 hours later because my parents couldn’t afford another night. On top of it, the woman in the next bed shamed her for being “irresponsible.” What a sad story.
I had a relatively inexpensive birth and health insurance, and even with what would be considered a lower-mid-range middle class salary for my area, it took nearly 3 years to pay off the medical debt for my child's birth. And I actually had a better scenario than most in the US have. It is truly awful in terms of Healthcare here -- except for the wealthy and fortunate. Please let our horror stories here be fodder for keeping subsidized/ public health are in the EU.
I wish I had screamed at my ex-husband when he left me alone after a 3 day birth, he left with his MOTHER because he was TIRED and needed to rest. I had an emergency caesarean after a LONG active labour and hospital staff brought him a MATTRESS so he could SLEEP on the floor for most of my labour. He left straight after birth. My baby was SCREAMING next to me and due to the caesarean I could do nothing and no nurse came to help me. Why did I accept such HEINOUS abuse! Please, women- yell and scream. Stop this abuse.
I think it was Zawn who said this: the whole hospital birth process is set up to be convenient for the doctors and the insurance companies (and the hospital's legal team, probably). Lately, I've been wondering, does ANY mammal on god's green earth deliver a baby while lying on her back? I don't know, but that position sure seems to be the easiest for the medical staff. The whole situation is disgusting.
Pretty much the same scenario; 3 days of false labor and sweeping membranes; full labor for 15 hours and an episiotomy. He had to go home and sleep. His sister stayed with me. The next day we go home. I’m up all night and ask him at about 6 in the morning to hold her; he says he can’t without falling asleep. I had to call my mil. I should have left then instead of hoping it would get better for 6 years and 2 years of contemplating divorce.
If only we had of known to leave then.
This episode is my favorite thing in the universe right now 🔥
I’m curious if there’s stats on what parts of the country or what states are most supportive of women in regards to pregnancy and birth (outside of abortion choice )
I’d love to talk more about this. I’d like to learn more about RAIN. I need support and guidance.
I hemorrhaged after my 3rd home birth.
I had all 4 of my babies at home w/midwives bc I did not trust the medical professionals. We paid about $5k per baby. Also bc of the bright lights, strangers coming into my room and checking my pelvis. So I protected myself from that but I needed to be home since I already had CPTSD and an abusive spouse. 💔