The things sexist men say, and what they really mean
The things sexist men say, and what they really mean
Overt sexism is mostly not socially acceptable. Here are the things raging sexists say instead.
Note: I had a Substack hiccup earlier today. Substack sent out an email for a post that is scheduled, but not yet live. If you got the email and can’t read the post, don’t worry! You’ll be able to in about two weeks! And onward…
Last weekend, a MGTOW dude spent about six hours of his Saturday leaving long diatribes on every single blog post I’ve ever made outlining all the reasons he’s so happy without women and so glad he doesn’t have to interact with them. So what caused him to devote so much time to a woman (that would be me) who so clearly did not want to talk to him?
I wrote an article outlining some of the ways marriage harms women and advantages men.
You’d think a dude so rabidly opposed to relationships with women would be thrilled to find a woman encouraging women not to get married. But of course, MGTOW has never actually been about men going their own way. These dudes won’t separate from women because they’re dependent on them. They need, and want, women to do chores for them, to run their lives for them, to tell them how great they are. They just don’t think they should have to do anything to earn these favors. The fact that women are actual humans who have expectations is the real reason they’re so mad at women.
It’s why these “happily single” guys spend so much time contacting women like me.
Anyway, it got me thinking about all the ridiculous and false claims men make, and I’ve rounded up a small sampling. Be sure to add your own in the comments!
My wife’s a nag
I’m an overgrown baby who can’t do the basic tasks necessary to sustain my family. So my wife has to constantly remind me.
Good luck alone with your cats/you’ll be single forever!
I can’t find someone who’s willing to have sex with me when marriage is no longer mandatory for women, so I’m hopeful that berating women for being single will convince them to be with me.
My wife is withholding sex
I think I’m entitled to sex and that my wife is a sex object, but I’m not offering her sex worth having, or doing enough to make her become interested in sex with me.
Men get taken to the cleaners in divorce. Child support is so unfair!
I believe that men should not have to support the children they help to make, and that they should benefit from women’s work indefinitely without having to financially contribute.
Also, family courts are biased against women, not men.
It’s not all men!
It’s definitely me, because men who are actually good care about the exploitation of women, and don’t respond to feminist discourse with reminders that not all men are monsters. Send them to the Not All Men hotline.
What about abuse of men?
That’s bad, too. But men who make this claim almost always seem to think that “abuse” (read: modestly unkind treatment) of men is an excuse for men to do whatever they damn well please to women.
A high-value man like men deserves it all! (Or any talk at all about alphas, betas, and cucks)
I smell bad.
You’re being a misandrist
I am so committed to the idea of masculinity as violent, lazy, and predatory that I see attacks on these behaviors as attacks on men.
Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse!
I hit women who say things I don’t like.
A woman who hits a man should expect to be hit back
I want an excuse to hit women.
It’s sexist to say men should never hit a woman
I like hitting women.
Also, some personal updates…
A few small updates from my subscribers!
First, check me out on the Divorce Survival Podcast with the lovely Kate Anthony.
I got temporarily banned from Facebook yet again. This time, about 100 completely innocuous comments I made over the course of several weeks were flagged as spam or hate speech. This included, for example, commenting on a picture of my daughter by clarifying her hair color and sending well wishes to a friend whose child died.
Usually when I get sanctioned, Facebook tells me it will push my posts lower, making them less visible. This directly impacts my ability to reach subscribers. Yet the men who harass my followers face no consequences. There’s no appeal process anymore, and it’s impossible to get a person to look at these AI-generated automatic sanctions.
Are there actual humans running Facebook anymore? Or has Mark Zuckerberg already uploaded his entire brain to the metaverse?
I am confident this will continue. Facebook and other social media sites are determined to punish feminist creators. Subscribing here helps because it gives me a safe platform for what is beginning to feel like my inevitable ban from Facebook. There’s a weird algorithm thing almost everywhere: the more people view your posts, the more visible they become to everyone else. So viewing, sharing, commenting, etc. are all helpful on Substack for widening my audience (that’s also true on Facebook, so be sure to like and comment on stuff you like there!) And widening my audience means fueling the feminist resistance, and mainstreaming the idea that, oh shit, mothers actually are people who matter.
Oh, and BTW, if you truly can’t afford a paid subscription but you still need some help in the support group, just email me at zawn.villines@gmail.com, and I’ll give you a fee waiver. The rest of you, though: I hope you’ll consider subscribing, and sharing my work!
I’m also trying, and mostly failing, to use Twitter more. But I might try more if I get more followers. Here I am.
Also! Next week I’ll be doing another #AMA on my Facebook page. So be sure to save your questions for Wednesday, March 22.
I’ll release data from the Sex in Relationships survey two paid subscribers only in two weeks. Unpaid subscribers get access two weeks later, so now is a great time to subscribe. Plus I’m doing a whole additional newsletter each week for paid subscribers.
I honestly don't understand this (not what was written here but what I am about to write). There was a post on social media about the worst thing a woman can say to a man is not 'no' it's laughing at him. I commented that I had heard that most men's biggest fear was being laughed at while most women's biggest fear was being murdered but ya keep complaining about being laughed at. Got a few women who agreed with me and then a bunch of men who came on to say that they would rather be punched in the face than laughed at. I probably shouldn't but I eventually deleted my comment because it was too painful to see all these men miss the point and then defend themselves in such a weird way. Do they seriously not get being punched is not the same as being murdered? Do they not get that we are in fear almost everywhere we go? Or they just don't care yet they really do want us to care about them being laughed at? Please someone make this make sense!
One of the craziest realizations of my life was finding out that what men actually fear is being rejected by women (and by women they mean hot, young women, other women do not exist in their minds). The only thing husbands fear from their wives is being left. They project this desperation onto women and sadly women believe it. The desperate, sad, lonely, childless, “afraid to die alone” individual with too many animals / possessions and no connections to the community is a man, not a woman. Women are the ones who call, and write the cards, remember the birthdays, do the little favors and obeisances that build and maintain relationships.
As a function of my politics I know many women who can’t stand men. They go about their lives without interpersonal and sometimes even economic and cultural contact with men. They don’t bother informing men: hey I don’t want to be around you. Men come and tell us that they are going “their own way” (to sue their ex wives again is really where they’re going) because they think it will hurt our feelings, because our romantic rejection is the only thing we do that hurts them. They don’t understand that they are dangerous nuisances to us and their attention makes our lives worse.
Also divorce has a limited impact on men financially, while it generally financially devastates women. But women are despite being poorer, happier than men after divorce. If a divorced man has children he also retains a “father benefit” because fathers make more money than childless men (and all women). Men are in no way disadvantaged by society, everything is set up to benefit them (relative to women of their same station) no matter what circumstances they find themselves in. Men’s beef with divorce is that they lose the possessor status that bumps them up the social hierarchy of men. They lose control and ownership of a woman and her children, and that doesn’t seem fair to them. They have to continue to pay for objects they can’t control and use, and they aren’t accustomed to personal sacrifice (with no potential for glory) or inconvenience. A woman’s earning and achievement potential is severely curtailed by having children, and she just has to live with it from her early twenties to the end of her life. Men can’t stand the thought of paying $400 a month for 18 years (out of a 70-90 year lifespan) with the benefit of having passed on their DNA, with the earning bump from father bias and being relieved of virtually all responsibility relating to care of their offspring which allows them to achieve in areas actually valued by society. Life honestly can’t be made easier for men relative to women, but they have these little childish fits anyway, and a handful of them go on to commit felonies about it.