I, too, have had wasp colonies circa the premises for years' and years' time.
With no little human ones, anymore, I am able to, too, keep my mouth shut.
And just let 'em be. Or bee. Pollinators that they are.
WHAT, though, I once was ... ... OF the same ? Bodily / nighttime nursing / sleeplessness / exhaustion.
With, once upon a time, humans who were 0, 13 months and 37 months and some of them still nighttime nursing ? I did NOT ( BEGIN to ) .r e c l a i m. my body and its own immune system and its otherwise - INTEGRITY altogether ... ... until 0 - Babe was six - to seven - YEARS of age. I was perpetually exhausted. With, too and simultaneously, my out of home - job and ... ... ( X's exploitation of ) MY in - home one. Hour after hour.
I, PHYSCIALLY, felt and L O O K E D ... ... BETTER, finally, UNwed and INSIDE my 50s ... ... THAN I EVER DID throughout my LATE 20s and throughout ALL of my 30s and 40s.
Reminds me a bit of The Power by Naomi Alderman, where women suddenly acquire the power to electrify/electrocute people and suddenly the women are winning…then suddenly things go south. Would love to hear other ladies’ thoughts on this book.
This whole story is a whole lotta nope for me. I just paid far too much money to have a colony of wasps that had taken up residence in the wall cavity of my house, exterminated. I have no regrets.
I think I have video somewhere of the wasp relocation. I promise you that every interaction I have had with Crocodile Dave has lived up to any hype you could possibly develop. His LinkedIn offers no hints as to what lies beneath, but if you look his photo in the eyes long enough, I think you'll see it all: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dave-kranich-a858b450
This was so enjoyable to read!!!! You're hilarious and this is all very wild but not that unexpected from you. You've been an animal-tamer/creature-lover since you were a child (if my memory serves me right...). Thanks for sharing.
One day I was getting out of the car at the library and I kept feeling something poke me in my upper thigh. It was like I forgot to take the tag off my clothes and the little plastic thing kept poking at me. But it hurt just a little more than a plastic poke. I kept trying to shift around thinking when I get into the library I’ll go to the bathroom to take off my pants and get the tag. As I was walking in I felt a worse poke and out of reflex I put my hand in my pocket. I heard a strange noise, like a hum. As I moved my hand around I felt something on it and pulled my hand out and found a little bee on it. I walked over to some plants and let him go. That was so weird though—how did a bee get in my pocket??
What the actual fuck did I just read, and why was it the fucking best thing ever? I definitely thought this was going to be the other type of wasp at first. 😂 I have such a wildly intense appreciation for nature and bees that I can't even be mad at wasps. I also have an unusual relationship with them.
Your fever dream comment had me cackling. So did the comment of you doing what any REASONABLE person would do... Which is you calling someone to remove them without killing them. 😂 I also think this is reasonable, but we are DEFINITELY not reasonable to everyone else. 😂
I just adore you. You're an incredible writer. You make any opinion/informational piece interesting, and any fiction/slice of life piece a storytelling masterpiece.
😊
I, too, have had wasp colonies circa the premises for years' and years' time.
With no little human ones, anymore, I am able to, too, keep my mouth shut.
And just let 'em be. Or bee. Pollinators that they are.
WHAT, though, I once was ... ... OF the same ? Bodily / nighttime nursing / sleeplessness / exhaustion.
With, once upon a time, humans who were 0, 13 months and 37 months and some of them still nighttime nursing ? I did NOT ( BEGIN to ) .r e c l a i m. my body and its own immune system and its otherwise - INTEGRITY altogether ... ... until 0 - Babe was six - to seven - YEARS of age. I was perpetually exhausted. With, too and simultaneously, my out of home - job and ... ... ( X's exploitation of ) MY in - home one. Hour after hour.
I, PHYSCIALLY, felt and L O O K E D ... ... BETTER, finally, UNwed and INSIDE my 50s ... ... THAN I EVER DID throughout my LATE 20s and throughout ALL of my 30s and 40s.
"I am able to, too, keep my mouth shut" made me laugh out loud 😂
OMGee!! That is hilarious!! Good on you for not freaking out!!
Omgoodness that was a fantastic read!!!
For me it’s the mosquitoes. Sure, we have wasps, but it’s 9k mosquitoes to one wasp.
Can we consider how terrifying it would be if anytime a man wronged you, you could open your mouth and a swarm of wasps would fly out?!
Reminds me a bit of The Power by Naomi Alderman, where women suddenly acquire the power to electrify/electrocute people and suddenly the women are winning…then suddenly things go south. Would love to hear other ladies’ thoughts on this book.
YES!! My first thought was "even better than a skein!" We're sisters now, hope that's ok!
It’s on my reading list now!
There's a Norse goddess who does that. I forget which one. But yeah.
What a beautifully written horror story (I’m also terrified of wasps). Thank you!
This whole story is a whole lotta nope for me. I just paid far too much money to have a colony of wasps that had taken up residence in the wall cavity of my house, exterminated. I have no regrets.
Haha! I think this is my favourite story yet.
What about Crocodile Dave?? Can he come back to the rescue?
Oh, I’m sorry, that sounds awful.
I need to know more about Crocodile Dave but I also don't want to ruin the epic backstory I already have going in my head.
I think I have video somewhere of the wasp relocation. I promise you that every interaction I have had with Crocodile Dave has lived up to any hype you could possibly develop. His LinkedIn offers no hints as to what lies beneath, but if you look his photo in the eyes long enough, I think you'll see it all: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dave-kranich-a858b450
I live in Florida and our pest and critter remover (who also doesn’t kill them) is named Alligator Bob
This was so enjoyable to read!!!! You're hilarious and this is all very wild but not that unexpected from you. You've been an animal-tamer/creature-lover since you were a child (if my memory serves me right...). Thanks for sharing.
One day I was getting out of the car at the library and I kept feeling something poke me in my upper thigh. It was like I forgot to take the tag off my clothes and the little plastic thing kept poking at me. But it hurt just a little more than a plastic poke. I kept trying to shift around thinking when I get into the library I’ll go to the bathroom to take off my pants and get the tag. As I was walking in I felt a worse poke and out of reflex I put my hand in my pocket. I heard a strange noise, like a hum. As I moved my hand around I felt something on it and pulled my hand out and found a little bee on it. I walked over to some plants and let him go. That was so weird though—how did a bee get in my pocket??
What the actual fuck did I just read, and why was it the fucking best thing ever? I definitely thought this was going to be the other type of wasp at first. 😂 I have such a wildly intense appreciation for nature and bees that I can't even be mad at wasps. I also have an unusual relationship with them.
Your fever dream comment had me cackling. So did the comment of you doing what any REASONABLE person would do... Which is you calling someone to remove them without killing them. 😂 I also think this is reasonable, but we are DEFINITELY not reasonable to everyone else. 😂
I just adore you. You're an incredible writer. You make any opinion/informational piece interesting, and any fiction/slice of life piece a storytelling masterpiece.
That was fantastic!!