I remember working part time so I could pick the kids up, from school and nursery,
Often skipping lunch to cram my work in, taking them to clubs or haircuts or whatever, cooking their tea, still in work clothes and being there for them, homework, arguments, questions etc. Husband arrives home and scans the scene and says he’s going upstairs to get changed.
That happened once too often. That was my booking point and my boundary. I refused to cook tea on certain evenings (still made food for little ones). That worked. Food mattered. It made the discussion worthwhile. I’m not saying it’s pleasant admitting this or that my approach is a solution to a much bigger problem and set of assumptions. Offering as a reflection on a very clear piece of wisdom - thank you!
I use this program in my own home and with my clients. The documentary is helpful and to the point. The card deck and curriculum give you concrete tools to shift being in the role of she-fault parent and divide domestic labor up in a way that works for your family. The question to be asking your husband is if he thinks his time is more valuable than yours. Because it’s not. Time spent taking care of the kids has as much value as time in the boardroom. And both partners deserve time away, time to do the things they love, and to be treated as though the time they spend doing things in the house or at work has equal value.
I remember working part time so I could pick the kids up, from school and nursery,
Often skipping lunch to cram my work in, taking them to clubs or haircuts or whatever, cooking their tea, still in work clothes and being there for them, homework, arguments, questions etc. Husband arrives home and scans the scene and says he’s going upstairs to get changed.
That happened once too often. That was my booking point and my boundary. I refused to cook tea on certain evenings (still made food for little ones). That worked. Food mattered. It made the discussion worthwhile. I’m not saying it’s pleasant admitting this or that my approach is a solution to a much bigger problem and set of assumptions. Offering as a reflection on a very clear piece of wisdom - thank you!
The effective script is delivered by someone else and it is: "You have been served [with divorce papers]."
You’ve been served and I’m done serving.
I use this program in my own home and with my clients. The documentary is helpful and to the point. The card deck and curriculum give you concrete tools to shift being in the role of she-fault parent and divide domestic labor up in a way that works for your family. The question to be asking your husband is if he thinks his time is more valuable than yours. Because it’s not. Time spent taking care of the kids has as much value as time in the boardroom. And both partners deserve time away, time to do the things they love, and to be treated as though the time they spend doing things in the house or at work has equal value.
https://www.fairplaylife.com/home-equity-curriculum
https://open.substack.com/pub/zawn/p/the-problem-with-fair-play-and-other?r=4odez&utm_medium=ios
Zawn is not a huge fan of Fair Play. I have to say that despite it having improved my life, find her thoughts on it interesting and true.