If only we could change the brainwashing that women have received over the years!
I have such hope for the current young generation, I have raised my daughter to reject society’s patriarchal bullshit but it’s difficult for my own contemporaries to change those ingrained myths.
I do feel encouraged; the new generation are so much more educated and open to difference. Acceptance of trans and non binary is such a fantastic thing in their circles; I see it every day in my 19 year old’s peer group.
My daughter was always exposed to alternatives to the cisgender heterosexual family “norm”, but many of her peers were not. Watching them learn and grow as people once exposed to difference is just beautiful!
I have faith that the myths of the patriarchy are slowly getting smashed.
These stories always tickle me. I left my bad marriage and have written off men and dating. Your "don't threaten me with a good time" in reference to dying alone with our cats is exactly right. I have so many beautiful supportive relationships in my life. They just weren't my "partner." (I always put that word in quotes because I was his partner but he was never mine). He wanted to "move on" and quickly found a kind woman with a lot of trauma to immediately trauma bond to rather than address all the unaddressed things in him that led to our divorce. I've always felt Iike I was actually the one who "moved on" even though I'm single. Because I've taken the time to grieve and take responsibility for my part and to live a different life. Where he just re-enlisted and didn't do any of the personal work to heal.
When a guy says I’ll die alone with cats I tell him I’d gladly take a dozen feral cats over him any day. (Nvmd I’m married 30+ years and statistically more likely to outlive my spouse anyway.)
Every day I wake up happy and grateful I never have to date again 😃 In the grand scheme my experiences weren’t the worst of the worst, but I just found it so fake and so transactional. It always felt like being interviewed for a role that I knew I wasn’t really right for. I was hyper-aware of constantly being judged on my looks and age, which in turn me think of myself and others in terms of value as commodities. It negatively affected my self-esteem in all areas of my life and I am *so* glad to be done with it! Yes to safe and fun casual sex, no to dating!!
Hahaha, I never read the note Zawn has at the bottom of every email. Too funny! I love reading these takedowns. Do one on "body counts!" I can't get enough.
Love these stories at the start of those men who realised their mistake! Reminds me of a long term FWB I had. As soon as I said I’m ready to seriously date to find a partner and that I had lined up a few dates, he scrambled, mumbled and suggested we try being an official thing. He was “astounded” when I suggested he only proposed this because he was likely to lose the FWB arrangement, claiming it was not at all connected. I think he thought he had the power and that I’d jump at the chance to “finally make it official.” No dude, you’re what I do when I basically want to be single. You’re not boyfriend material, otherwise you’d be someones boyfriend.
My ex criticised me for gaining weight and said he wasn't attracted to me. I can confirm that now I am a solo poly person and I receive constant likes and new conversations with men who want me on the apps. I am plus size, 40ish, natural greying hair, scars, stretch marks, different size boobs, and I am fucking beautiful... women are the prize that men want. If only more would put in the effort to be desirable and safe. The main job now is sifting through the trash to find the good stuff. Lucky I'm pan also haha
I don’t have children or a partner. But this blog helps me understand how important mother’s issues are, and encourages me to rally for mothers. It also helps me SO MUCH (along with therapy) to understand the value I have as a woman despite constantly feeling like I have no value unless I’m a certain size, or behave in a certain way, etc. etc. Thank you, Zawn.
I laughed out loud at the “don’t threaten me with a good time” 😂❤️
It’s really funny how men who listen to the ‘manosphere’ aren’t listening. I think Jordan Peterson is awesome actually, but they just take snippets of what they say and warp it to fit their narrative. They tell guys they have to be better, that they should be the leaders of their relationships and they are right, but that takes introspection, self work and a willingness to put your partner and family before yourself. They don’t want to hear the part that makes them have to look at their own behaviour and realize they’ve been shitty partners and show up differently for an extended period of time, because after a period of shitty behaviour it’s going to take a long time for her to believe you have actually changed. Instead they make changes for one day then become nasty if we aren’t super pleased about it and kissing their feet. And we are ‘ungrateful’ lol
There is a lot of value in encouraging men to actually be men, not simpering little boys who are emotionally 17 looking for mommy, but they don’t want to hear that part.
This is so on point. Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and Tradwives (as a response to red pillers etc) need to get in the bin
If only we could change the brainwashing that women have received over the years!
I have such hope for the current young generation, I have raised my daughter to reject society’s patriarchal bullshit but it’s difficult for my own contemporaries to change those ingrained myths.
I do feel encouraged; the new generation are so much more educated and open to difference. Acceptance of trans and non binary is such a fantastic thing in their circles; I see it every day in my 19 year old’s peer group.
My daughter was always exposed to alternatives to the cisgender heterosexual family “norm”, but many of her peers were not. Watching them learn and grow as people once exposed to difference is just beautiful!
I have faith that the myths of the patriarchy are slowly getting smashed.
These stories always tickle me. I left my bad marriage and have written off men and dating. Your "don't threaten me with a good time" in reference to dying alone with our cats is exactly right. I have so many beautiful supportive relationships in my life. They just weren't my "partner." (I always put that word in quotes because I was his partner but he was never mine). He wanted to "move on" and quickly found a kind woman with a lot of trauma to immediately trauma bond to rather than address all the unaddressed things in him that led to our divorce. I've always felt Iike I was actually the one who "moved on" even though I'm single. Because I've taken the time to grieve and take responsibility for my part and to live a different life. Where he just re-enlisted and didn't do any of the personal work to heal.
When a guy says I’ll die alone with cats I tell him I’d gladly take a dozen feral cats over him any day. (Nvmd I’m married 30+ years and statistically more likely to outlive my spouse anyway.)
Every day I wake up happy and grateful I never have to date again 😃 In the grand scheme my experiences weren’t the worst of the worst, but I just found it so fake and so transactional. It always felt like being interviewed for a role that I knew I wasn’t really right for. I was hyper-aware of constantly being judged on my looks and age, which in turn me think of myself and others in terms of value as commodities. It negatively affected my self-esteem in all areas of my life and I am *so* glad to be done with it! Yes to safe and fun casual sex, no to dating!!
Hahaha, I never read the note Zawn has at the bottom of every email. Too funny! I love reading these takedowns. Do one on "body counts!" I can't get enough.
Love these stories at the start of those men who realised their mistake! Reminds me of a long term FWB I had. As soon as I said I’m ready to seriously date to find a partner and that I had lined up a few dates, he scrambled, mumbled and suggested we try being an official thing. He was “astounded” when I suggested he only proposed this because he was likely to lose the FWB arrangement, claiming it was not at all connected. I think he thought he had the power and that I’d jump at the chance to “finally make it official.” No dude, you’re what I do when I basically want to be single. You’re not boyfriend material, otherwise you’d be someones boyfriend.
My only regret about Zawn's columns is that I didn't realize and internalize all this stuff when I was 15. So much time wasted.
My ex criticised me for gaining weight and said he wasn't attracted to me. I can confirm that now I am a solo poly person and I receive constant likes and new conversations with men who want me on the apps. I am plus size, 40ish, natural greying hair, scars, stretch marks, different size boobs, and I am fucking beautiful... women are the prize that men want. If only more would put in the effort to be desirable and safe. The main job now is sifting through the trash to find the good stuff. Lucky I'm pan also haha
The part about men fearing dying alone with their cats.
Lol, even the cats won't go near them.
Jaw-droppingly visceral and much-needed tonight. 🤯🏆🎯
Dying alone?!?! With my cats?!?!
The only thing in this world that could possibly be better than THAT is
living alone
with my cats.
Yes please!! Bring it on, and be quick about it.
PS Thank you, Zawn. I didn't know how much I needed to read this piece until I read it.
SNAPPPPPPPP ZAWN 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Those stories were so satisfying to read.
I don’t have children or a partner. But this blog helps me understand how important mother’s issues are, and encourages me to rally for mothers. It also helps me SO MUCH (along with therapy) to understand the value I have as a woman despite constantly feeling like I have no value unless I’m a certain size, or behave in a certain way, etc. etc. Thank you, Zawn.
I laughed out loud at the “don’t threaten me with a good time” 😂❤️
It’s really funny how men who listen to the ‘manosphere’ aren’t listening. I think Jordan Peterson is awesome actually, but they just take snippets of what they say and warp it to fit their narrative. They tell guys they have to be better, that they should be the leaders of their relationships and they are right, but that takes introspection, self work and a willingness to put your partner and family before yourself. They don’t want to hear the part that makes them have to look at their own behaviour and realize they’ve been shitty partners and show up differently for an extended period of time, because after a period of shitty behaviour it’s going to take a long time for her to believe you have actually changed. Instead they make changes for one day then become nasty if we aren’t super pleased about it and kissing their feet. And we are ‘ungrateful’ lol
There is a lot of value in encouraging men to actually be men, not simpering little boys who are emotionally 17 looking for mommy, but they don’t want to hear that part.