Why does society blame and disbelieve victims of abuse? Paid subscriber bonus

Understanding the dynamics of victim-blaming, defending abusers, and why so many victim-survivors aren't taken seriously.

“Is there any chance of reconciliation?” It’s the first question a reader’s mother recently asked after her partner hit her.

“Clearly this relationship has pushed him to the brink, and is not working for him,” a sister-in-law told another reader after her partner attacked her child.

“Well, why is it you think he wants to kill you so badly? What is it you did to him?” a victim “advocate” in the Dekalb County District Attorney’s office asked me two years ago when my family had to flee my home because a stalker wanted me dead.

“He wasn’t ready to have a family. He needs time to grow up,” another victim advocate told a reader after her husband assaulted her.

The same reader’s own father suggested that perhaps her partner had become abusive because she wasn’t having enough sex with him.

We love to blame women for the abuse they’ve experienced. So why does this happen? And is there anything at all women can do to increase their chances of being believed?

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