Why 'feminist' men and 'nice guys' get so angry about my work
Here's why I think my work is a great test of a man's commitment to feminism, decency, and a life free of abusing women.
I received yet another thank you note from a man today. This isn’t a rare occurrence. My inbox is filled with messages from men telling me that I’m the first feminist writer they’ve read who has spoken plainly and directly, in a way that helps them see and dismantle their entitlement.
The reality, though, is that these men are outnumbered by the self-described “nice guys” and “feminists” who view me as angry, irrational, aggressive, and shrill. They tell me, a happily married woman, I’ll die alone with my cats because no man could ever love me. They insist I have turned them against feminism forever, that I am alienating allies, that I have radicalized their wives and destroyed their marriages. They, like misogynists almost always do, question my mental health and attack my appearance.
Many of these men praise other feminist thinkers, and have even infiltrated feminist spaces or convinced the women they date that they are feminists. The easy explanation is that they have tricked these women, but I think there’s something deeper going on here.