I agree with this assessment. It's taken me 6 weeks to have my husband (of 20 years and 4 children) to take over just the dishes. This means either he does them or he assigns an older child to them that day. I've cried 3 times and he is afraid I am going to divorce him. That's how much leverage and energy it takes to *maybe* take one thing off my plate.
I agree with this assessment. It's taken me 6 weeks to have my husband (of 20 years and 4 children) to take over just the dishes. This means either he does them or he assigns an older child to them that day. I've cried 3 times and he is afraid I am going to divorce him. That's how much leverage and energy it takes to *maybe* take one thing off my plate.
Our experiences are very similar! I've been married for 15 years with 4 children. For many of those years, my husband was unemployed or doing sporadic consulting from home and I still did all of the labor. Two years ago I "quit" dishes and now he finally feels responsible for them, although they are still left dirty several nights a week. He only really started taking it seriously because he is afraid I'll divorce him. And he still pretends not to understand why our marriage has gone sour. Or he feels he has met the "good husband" standard of never hitting me and doing some household chores sometimes when asked.
It took me weeks to just get my ex husband to unload the dishwasher. I still loaded it and washed the hand wash stuff he kept buying with no regard for the extra labor.
I agree with this assessment. It's taken me 6 weeks to have my husband (of 20 years and 4 children) to take over just the dishes. This means either he does them or he assigns an older child to them that day. I've cried 3 times and he is afraid I am going to divorce him. That's how much leverage and energy it takes to *maybe* take one thing off my plate.
Our experiences are very similar! I've been married for 15 years with 4 children. For many of those years, my husband was unemployed or doing sporadic consulting from home and I still did all of the labor. Two years ago I "quit" dishes and now he finally feels responsible for them, although they are still left dirty several nights a week. He only really started taking it seriously because he is afraid I'll divorce him. And he still pretends not to understand why our marriage has gone sour. Or he feels he has met the "good husband" standard of never hitting me and doing some household chores sometimes when asked.
It took me weeks to just get my ex husband to unload the dishwasher. I still loaded it and washed the hand wash stuff he kept buying with no regard for the extra labor.
Oh and that was after 17 years of marriage.