'Your standards are unreasonable, so you'll never be happy!' The weapons sexist men use

The most popular one-two punch for escaping accountability among sexist men.

Editor’s note: This is actually a combination of two of the most popular posts from my Weapons Men Use series. They really belong together, and combining them helps me give you a great new post during this busy and overworked holiday season.

One of the big changes our generation has seen is that it’s no longer socially acceptable to say, “I actually think my wife should do all the parenting and housework because she’s a woman and that’s her role.” And you definitely can’t say, “I deserve to relax at the end of my day and my wife doesn’t because women’s needs just don’t matter as much, and women’s work doesn’t count (even when it’s paid work).”

In many ways, it was easier to confront sexist men when they did say shit like this.

Instead, like the cowering slobs they are, they hide their sexism in the language of faux equality.

“It’s not that I think you should do all the work! We just have different standards!”

This also sounds like:

• “Dads just parent differently!”

• “You’re practicing maternal gatekeeping!”

• “You won’t let me try!”

• “Every time I try, you tell me it’s wrong!”

• “You don’t get to set the standards for everything.”

In an equal world, these arguments might be reasonable. Sometimes it’s reasonable to let a kid stay up 15 minutes late, or to push back on excessive homework, or to make other changes to daily life. But that’s not usually what these men are talking about.