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Here's what your male partner will probably do when you try to leave. And here's how you can prepare.
Abusive and entitled men rely on the same playbook--and their reactions are entirely unoriginal. Knowing this can help you plan a safer exit.
Oct 15
•
Zawn Villines
113
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Here's what your male partner will probably do when you try to leave. And here's how you can prepare.
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75
'My ex was crazy!' What to do about a partner who blames his ex for everything
Spoiler alert: She wasn't crazy. At least not until he drove her to it.
Oct 1
•
Zawn Villines
85
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'My ex was crazy!' What to do about a partner who blames his ex for everything
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28
'I'm so much better than other men!' 'My dad was way worse than me!' The Weapons Sexist Men Use series
...But is he better than the bear? Spoiler alert: No.
Sep 10
•
Zawn Villines
53
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'I'm so much better than other men!' 'My dad was way worse than me!' The Weapons Sexist Men Use series
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7
'Who hurt you?' How abusive men weaponize men's violence to silence and discredit feminism
In the mind of misogynists, the fact that men traumatize women is a reason not to believe women when they say men traumatize women.
Sep 3
•
Zawn Villines
80
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'Who hurt you?' How abusive men weaponize men's violence to silence and discredit feminism
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10
How sexist men weaponize the silent treatment: The Weapons Men Use series (paid subscriber bonus)
He's not "processing his feelings." He's weaponizing yours.
Aug 20
68
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How sexist men weaponize the silent treatment: The Weapons Men Use series (paid subscriber bonus)
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36
'But I'm an ally and a feminist!' How men weaponize feminist identities against women: The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
Abusive men often use feminism as a weapon, insisting they're entitled to the benefit of the doubt
Aug 13
•
Zawn Villines
43
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'But I'm an ally and a feminist!' How men weaponize feminist identities against women: The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
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18
'I'll do that!' and then he doesn't: The Weapons Sexist Men Use series
...and then he's mad when you do it. Remember not to nag, make him feel bad, or ever hold him accountable.
Aug 6
•
Zawn Villines
111
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'I'll do that!' and then he doesn't: The Weapons Sexist Men Use series
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24
"We just have different parenting styles!" How men escape accountability for bad parenting
Yet another tool sexist men use to blame women for men's failings.
Jul 30
•
Zawn Villines
63
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"We just have different parenting styles!" How men escape accountability for bad parenting
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17
"Just make me a list!" Why a list is just another tool for escaping household labor accountability
The paradox of household labor inequity: Make me a list! Oh, you made me a list? Don't be a nag!
Jul 2
•
Zawn Villines
95
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"Just make me a list!" Why a list is just another tool for escaping household labor accountability
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24
Why weaponized incompetence is such a core feature of misogyny
It's all about avoiding work, then pretending that work doesn't matter.
Jun 25
•
Zawn Villines
102
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Why weaponized incompetence is such a core feature of misogyny
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42
'I can't cope right now!' The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
When men realize they're going to have to do their fair share, they often weaponize their mental health
May 28
•
Zawn Villines
84
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'I can't cope right now!' The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
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27
'Housework is bullshit': The Weapons Abusive Men use series
Abusive men make absolutely absurd claims that deserve nothing but derision. But because we live in a patriarchy where men's silliness is taken…
May 21
•
Zawn Villines
86
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'Housework is bullshit': The Weapons Abusive Men use series
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24
Weaponizing the language of social justice: The weapons sexist men use
"But you're oppressing me!"
May 14
•
Zawn Villines
71
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Weaponizing the language of social justice: The weapons sexist men use
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18
'You're so resentful!' How abusive partners weaponize women's dissatisfaction
Resentment is the natural, normal reaction to oppression.
Apr 23
•
Zawn Villines
83
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'You're so resentful!' How abusive partners weaponize women's dissatisfaction
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29
'You're never satisfied with anything!' How sexist men escape accountability
Sexist men act like applying any standard at all to them is oppression.
Apr 16
•
Zawn Villines
58
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'You're never satisfied with anything!' How sexist men escape accountability
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16
'But I don't care about that task!' The weapons sexist men use
Men undermine the value of the work their partners do as a way of getting out of household labor.
Apr 9
•
Zawn Villines
96
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'But I don't care about that task!' The weapons sexist men use
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19
"Maybe he's neurodivergent!" Gaslighting women to excuse inequality and abuse
Emotional abuse, inequality, and maltreatment are not symptoms of any form of neurodivergence--and to imply otherwise is ableist.
Mar 5
•
Zawn Villines
90
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"Maybe he's neurodivergent!" Gaslighting women to excuse inequality and abuse
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10
'Men just grieve differently:' How we excuse men from meeting their partners' emotional needs
During life's worst moments, abusive men turn away from their partners. And society excuses it with false claims about gender differences.
Jan 23
•
Zawn Villines
47
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'Men just grieve differently:' How we excuse men from meeting their partners' emotional needs
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8
"You're the abusive one!" The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
Abusive men believe that their behavior is justified. So they depict their partners as abusive.
Jan 16
•
Zawn Villines
82
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"You're the abusive one!" The Weapons Abusive Men Use series
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32
'I can't read your mind!' The weapons sexist men use
Why sexist men want us to believe that obvious information isn't so obvious, and that they can't be trusted to do anything without supervision.
Dec 19, 2023
•
Zawn Villines
63
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'I can't read your mind!' The weapons sexist men use
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13
"We just have different parenting styles!" How men escape accountability for bad parenting
Yet another tool sexist men use to blame women for men's failings.
Nov 21, 2023
•
Zawn Villines
57
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"We just have different parenting styles!" How men escape accountability for bad parenting
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14
"I do just as much labor as you!": How sexist men excuse household labor imbalances
They're arguing in bad faith to buy time.
Oct 17, 2023
•
Zawn Villines
49
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"I do just as much labor as you!": How sexist men excuse household labor imbalances
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22
"You owe me sex" and other ways sexist men weaponize sex (paid subscriber bonus)
Men think sex is their birthright, and that women who won't give it to them deserve whatever abuse they can dish out.
Sep 26, 2023
•
Zawn Villines
57
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"You owe me sex" and other ways sexist men weaponize sex (paid subscriber bonus)
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11
'Well my therapist thinks you're the abusive one,' and other ways abusers weaponize therapy (paid subscriber bonus)
Men weaponize individual and couples counseling to buy time and excuse their own behavior.
Sep 19, 2023
•
Zawn Villines
71
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'Well my therapist thinks you're the abusive one,' and other ways abusers weaponize therapy (paid subscriber bonus)
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26
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