Mothers operate according to a profound sense of duty. This is so poignant and how I often describe my feelings toward motherhood. Thank you for all you do Zawn
I'll never forget the one time I tried to outsource help -- a house cleaning service -- and the boss said it would cost more/take longer because of how much there was to do. I said I understood, that I'd been juggling my father's last days in the hospital and death over the last month on top of my taking care of my 3 kids (2 special needs, one a baby). She pressed that they wouldn't actually have time to complete the service, and I expressed stress and she said, "Listen, I don't mean to mom shame, but..." My husband was working from home. He was literally home AS they were cleaning. Yet it fell onto me.
I want to add that good fathers also communicate with their partners without asking. It's all well and good to share the load, but you gotta tell your co-parent (whether in a relationship or not). Eg if dad takes the kids to the dentist, then he needs to give at least a quick rundown to their co-parent about what happened or what was said during that appointment so that the other parent can implement the same changes or buy the right toothpaste or whatever.
I also have a question: Are there or were there matriarchal societies that we can use as a reference? I'd love to learn about them!
Maybe it's just my backwards thinking, of course, but maybe, just *maybe*, it's not only that society's standards for fathers are set abysmally low, but *also" that the standards for mothers are set unrealistically high as well. Both can be true without the universe exploding. What if, as dreamy and utopian as it sounds in 2025, parents of all genders were allowed to parent like, say, Lenore Skenazy? While here last name may rhyme with "crazy", as her detractors are keen to point out, she is probably one of the sanest people out there IMHO. Just my $0.02.
Mothers operate according to a profound sense of duty. This is so poignant and how I often describe my feelings toward motherhood. Thank you for all you do Zawn
I'll never forget the one time I tried to outsource help -- a house cleaning service -- and the boss said it would cost more/take longer because of how much there was to do. I said I understood, that I'd been juggling my father's last days in the hospital and death over the last month on top of my taking care of my 3 kids (2 special needs, one a baby). She pressed that they wouldn't actually have time to complete the service, and I expressed stress and she said, "Listen, I don't mean to mom shame, but..." My husband was working from home. He was literally home AS they were cleaning. Yet it fell onto me.
I want to add that good fathers also communicate with their partners without asking. It's all well and good to share the load, but you gotta tell your co-parent (whether in a relationship or not). Eg if dad takes the kids to the dentist, then he needs to give at least a quick rundown to their co-parent about what happened or what was said during that appointment so that the other parent can implement the same changes or buy the right toothpaste or whatever.
I also have a question: Are there or were there matriarchal societies that we can use as a reference? I'd love to learn about them!
I'm reading the book The Patriachs by Angela Saini which addresses that question!
Maybe it's just my backwards thinking, of course, but maybe, just *maybe*, it's not only that society's standards for fathers are set abysmally low, but *also" that the standards for mothers are set unrealistically high as well. Both can be true without the universe exploding. What if, as dreamy and utopian as it sounds in 2025, parents of all genders were allowed to parent like, say, Lenore Skenazy? While here last name may rhyme with "crazy", as her detractors are keen to point out, she is probably one of the sanest people out there IMHO. Just my $0.02.