I feel hopeful! I left. It's better. Will not sacrifice my calm now for anything that makes my gut feel wrong. I have a daughter. Can you write about bringing up kids? I want her savvy! I also know I was a people pleaser and don't want to pass it on. Ty for all you do x
Zawn has written a couple of articles on raising kids ..check on the feminist fridays answers. I vividly remember that one was about princess culture, another was on gentle parenting...x
I recently heard someone on tiktok call it "the Great Divorce" a time in history where women (who date men) are fed up. Are either divorcing, staying single or going child free - on purpose! yet men are staying stagnant, even doubling down
Millennial, and younger, women (and some of the men too) make me so hopeful. The ones I meet are so incredibly emotionally intelligent and aware. I am encouraged because of them.
Women’s sport! The changes that have occurred in a generation or so thrill me. The USWNT, the Matildas, Faith Kipyegon, Katie Ledecky - to name a very few. And in my own country, a women’s rugby team who sold out the flagship stadium. Growing up in the 80s/90s I would *never* have imagined that. That team has inspired and revitalised Kiwi women of all ages. These athletes are a new brand of role model and they’re reaching a wider audience than ever before. They showcase the experience of actually being in your body, the joy of focusing on what it can do and how it feels. That’s a powerful inoculation against the tragically common (near universal?) teen girl experience of being pushed outside of your body and into self-objectification. I mean yes, there continue to be awful issues with eating disorders and predatory men, but the progress made in the last 25 years is undeniable and inspirational.
Yes!! I’m in Australia and I’m riding the biggest high today! EVERYONE is talking about the Matildas. Little boys are asking if boys can play soccer too. At the Aussie rules football last night men LEFT their seats in the stadium to go and watch the matildas game on the screens in the corridors! And on the news this morning the male sports reporters were in tears and could only talk about how magical the matildas are.ratings for the game far exceeded those for male rugby and Afl grand finals. I keep crying with joy. Something remarkable is happening. In a sports mad country, where sport has been synonymous with violent male athletes, something dramatic is shifting as Australia gets behind some remarkable women and realised they’re actually more fun to watch, and better people, than most of our male athletes. Also so many of the matildas are from low socio economic backgrounds, which is also amazing as sport has historically been such a place of privilege. I’m so so happy today.
I am 56. I witnessed my mother being crushed and destroyed by her husband, my father. I had my PhD supervisor rub my upper thigh and then say that his wife would kill him, as though I was forbidden candy without a brain or will. I survived and escaped numerous scary attacks just walking on the street, or on the beach, or in a park, or on a train, or just walking into my apartment complex. My husband is not as bad as the previous generation of males and is actively trying to improve himself, including by subscribing to you, Zawn, and reading everything you write (because I WILL LEAVE if he does not understand patriarchy and how he benefits from it, and that I expect him to be my true friend in this fight against injustice), but still he was prone to self-entitled selfishness that has negatively affected my life. And *I* was shaped to allow shit that on paper I completely rejected but that crept up on me like a fait accompli, which makes me feel really angry too.
So, yes, I am really pissed off, and now I'm old enough to have gotten over imposter syndrome and senior enough to make a difference, and I'm really hammering that in my scientific profession: for example, I do not accept that Male is the default sex: if the research is on a cohort of 50.1% women, the default sex is female. This means making statisticians (all male at present in my work) alter their analyses. And you know, there has not been a peep about this because I'm not asking: I'm telling. I'm ready to dump them as clients if they don't comply and will have no problem getting more like-minded clients. And they know it.
Ultimately what happened - men controlling the world - can be called regulatory capture: the control of the apparatus of the state for your own benefit, or for the benefit of your group. For some reason, it was enjoyable for many men to see women as subservient, and they created a whole system of control around it. It's disgusting.
Bur I am hopeful because I *am* seeing change. MeToo was stunning. Yes, some of it has been reversed, but it has seriously challenged the impunity of male rapists and abusers. In particular, it made women AWARE that they are being abused. I also see such knowledge and insight from my teenage kids because they are on the internet. They all know about consent, for example. And I'm seeing more and more articles on legal challenges about the fact that shopfloor workers (ie retail sales people, mostly women) are paid less than distribution workers (forklift divers, mostly male) despite the fact that shopfloor workers need more skills than the distribution workers.
I have hope. I am seeing change. I know there are many women in positions of power now, and they (and many men) are galvanized to create a more equitable world, not only for women but also our sons and our daughters, and really for all humankind.
I feel hopeful! I left. It's better. Will not sacrifice my calm now for anything that makes my gut feel wrong. I have a daughter. Can you write about bringing up kids? I want her savvy! I also know I was a people pleaser and don't want to pass it on. Ty for all you do x
Zawn has written a couple of articles on raising kids ..check on the feminist fridays answers. I vividly remember that one was about princess culture, another was on gentle parenting...x
Thank you. I'll check them out 🙏
<3
I recently heard someone on tiktok call it "the Great Divorce" a time in history where women (who date men) are fed up. Are either divorcing, staying single or going child free - on purpose! yet men are staying stagnant, even doubling down
Millennial, and younger, women (and some of the men too) make me so hopeful. The ones I meet are so incredibly emotionally intelligent and aware. I am encouraged because of them.
Preach Zawn ✊🏻
Women’s sport! The changes that have occurred in a generation or so thrill me. The USWNT, the Matildas, Faith Kipyegon, Katie Ledecky - to name a very few. And in my own country, a women’s rugby team who sold out the flagship stadium. Growing up in the 80s/90s I would *never* have imagined that. That team has inspired and revitalised Kiwi women of all ages. These athletes are a new brand of role model and they’re reaching a wider audience than ever before. They showcase the experience of actually being in your body, the joy of focusing on what it can do and how it feels. That’s a powerful inoculation against the tragically common (near universal?) teen girl experience of being pushed outside of your body and into self-objectification. I mean yes, there continue to be awful issues with eating disorders and predatory men, but the progress made in the last 25 years is undeniable and inspirational.
Yes!! I’m in Australia and I’m riding the biggest high today! EVERYONE is talking about the Matildas. Little boys are asking if boys can play soccer too. At the Aussie rules football last night men LEFT their seats in the stadium to go and watch the matildas game on the screens in the corridors! And on the news this morning the male sports reporters were in tears and could only talk about how magical the matildas are.ratings for the game far exceeded those for male rugby and Afl grand finals. I keep crying with joy. Something remarkable is happening. In a sports mad country, where sport has been synonymous with violent male athletes, something dramatic is shifting as Australia gets behind some remarkable women and realised they’re actually more fun to watch, and better people, than most of our male athletes. Also so many of the matildas are from low socio economic backgrounds, which is also amazing as sport has historically been such a place of privilege. I’m so so happy today.
Absolutely love all of this <3<3 Go the Matildas!!!!!!!!!!
I'm Australian too, and just cried happy tears reading your comment <3
I am 56. I witnessed my mother being crushed and destroyed by her husband, my father. I had my PhD supervisor rub my upper thigh and then say that his wife would kill him, as though I was forbidden candy without a brain or will. I survived and escaped numerous scary attacks just walking on the street, or on the beach, or in a park, or on a train, or just walking into my apartment complex. My husband is not as bad as the previous generation of males and is actively trying to improve himself, including by subscribing to you, Zawn, and reading everything you write (because I WILL LEAVE if he does not understand patriarchy and how he benefits from it, and that I expect him to be my true friend in this fight against injustice), but still he was prone to self-entitled selfishness that has negatively affected my life. And *I* was shaped to allow shit that on paper I completely rejected but that crept up on me like a fait accompli, which makes me feel really angry too.
So, yes, I am really pissed off, and now I'm old enough to have gotten over imposter syndrome and senior enough to make a difference, and I'm really hammering that in my scientific profession: for example, I do not accept that Male is the default sex: if the research is on a cohort of 50.1% women, the default sex is female. This means making statisticians (all male at present in my work) alter their analyses. And you know, there has not been a peep about this because I'm not asking: I'm telling. I'm ready to dump them as clients if they don't comply and will have no problem getting more like-minded clients. And they know it.
Ultimately what happened - men controlling the world - can be called regulatory capture: the control of the apparatus of the state for your own benefit, or for the benefit of your group. For some reason, it was enjoyable for many men to see women as subservient, and they created a whole system of control around it. It's disgusting.
Bur I am hopeful because I *am* seeing change. MeToo was stunning. Yes, some of it has been reversed, but it has seriously challenged the impunity of male rapists and abusers. In particular, it made women AWARE that they are being abused. I also see such knowledge and insight from my teenage kids because they are on the internet. They all know about consent, for example. And I'm seeing more and more articles on legal challenges about the fact that shopfloor workers (ie retail sales people, mostly women) are paid less than distribution workers (forklift divers, mostly male) despite the fact that shopfloor workers need more skills than the distribution workers.
I have hope. I am seeing change. I know there are many women in positions of power now, and they (and many men) are galvanized to create a more equitable world, not only for women but also our sons and our daughters, and really for all humankind.
I have a lot of hope.
Great email in a time when it can seem hopeless... i pray my girls are left a better society 🙏