Long time reader and now pod listener. Needless to say, after this second episode I had to become a paid subscriber. You're doing valuable and challenging work and I appreciate it so damn much.
I consider my subscription to Zawn’s work as part of my investment in my healthcare. Not entertainment or education, but healthcare. Because this is life-saving stuff. I think reading this work is going to mean I live longer, feel happier, have more time for sleep and exercise and friends and passions and career and good food, all of which will mean I will feel healthier. Above all, it will mean I keep my sanity intact, and avoid the PTSD, anxiety, depression etc that comes with being tied up in a shitty as heterosexual relationship. I read Zawn’s posts (and everyone’s comments) like my life depends on it - because it’s easy to sometimes forget how bad it was and have those occasional stupid mushy feelings of “oh wouldnt a relationship and snuggles and someone being there for me through thick and thin be nice”. Reading this work puts me off heterosexual relationships - the risk-benefit analysis just doesn’t stack up!! - and keeps me on my happy chappy single life path, focusing on the things that matter including my amazing female friendships. Rather than all the $$ I paid on dieting and exercise from when I was at university onwards, I wish someone had told me feminist writing about relationships would be the best healthcare investment ever.
My husband said he was supposed to be my protector (the old tired line men are trained to think, he brought this up during a DnM) so I stopped him in his tracks, held up my hand and asked him, "what are you protecting me from?"
He paused for a good ten seconds solid before he admitted, "I don't know."
Because he realised that anything he can handle, I can also handle. He had never actually thought about it before but it was so engrained into his brain as part of his upbringing so this was a bit of a self reflecting moment for him.
However throughout my own research, I've found taller women feel less threatened in general because they match or exceed their male counterpart's physical size. But most women are shorter, biologically speaking we average a physically smaller stature than men. So ask a woman who is 5'2" versus a woman who is 5'8" and you get different answers on how they perceive their safety.
(I'm listening and noting things gradually while pausing for my kids lol so I might reply to my own comment a few times so I can just add to the conversation and things this podcast brought to mind that others might find interesting - including Zawn)
Long time reader and now pod listener. Needless to say, after this second episode I had to become a paid subscriber. You're doing valuable and challenging work and I appreciate it so damn much.
I consider my subscription to Zawn’s work as part of my investment in my healthcare. Not entertainment or education, but healthcare. Because this is life-saving stuff. I think reading this work is going to mean I live longer, feel happier, have more time for sleep and exercise and friends and passions and career and good food, all of which will mean I will feel healthier. Above all, it will mean I keep my sanity intact, and avoid the PTSD, anxiety, depression etc that comes with being tied up in a shitty as heterosexual relationship. I read Zawn’s posts (and everyone’s comments) like my life depends on it - because it’s easy to sometimes forget how bad it was and have those occasional stupid mushy feelings of “oh wouldnt a relationship and snuggles and someone being there for me through thick and thin be nice”. Reading this work puts me off heterosexual relationships - the risk-benefit analysis just doesn’t stack up!! - and keeps me on my happy chappy single life path, focusing on the things that matter including my amazing female friendships. Rather than all the $$ I paid on dieting and exercise from when I was at university onwards, I wish someone had told me feminist writing about relationships would be the best healthcare investment ever.
Jeff: I think the term you were searching for is “primacy bias”: the fallacy of favoring what you were first exposed to.
My husband said he was supposed to be my protector (the old tired line men are trained to think, he brought this up during a DnM) so I stopped him in his tracks, held up my hand and asked him, "what are you protecting me from?"
He paused for a good ten seconds solid before he admitted, "I don't know."
Because he realised that anything he can handle, I can also handle. He had never actually thought about it before but it was so engrained into his brain as part of his upbringing so this was a bit of a self reflecting moment for him.
However throughout my own research, I've found taller women feel less threatened in general because they match or exceed their male counterpart's physical size. But most women are shorter, biologically speaking we average a physically smaller stature than men. So ask a woman who is 5'2" versus a woman who is 5'8" and you get different answers on how they perceive their safety.
(I'm listening and noting things gradually while pausing for my kids lol so I might reply to my own comment a few times so I can just add to the conversation and things this podcast brought to mind that others might find interesting - including Zawn)