This article aligns well with the advice in the book “Raising girls who like themselves”. I’m so grateful to be learning this approach while my daughter is just a bub!
I especially like the thoughts (1) to understand that your children aren’t “ruined” (2) that you aren’t their only influence. I have an 18 1/2 year old son and 15 year old daughter and it’s been a journey! I believe they were born their own little people with their own personalities and while I’ve certainly had lots of influence it’s probably always a little less than I thought. I’ve consistently chosen relationship over rule (opposite of how my ex parented). And while my kids aren’t perfect, we are a close tight and emotionally safe 3-person little family.
My advice is to practice radical acceptance of your own body/appearance, especially in the areas where she is struggling. When my beautiful preteen daughter began to “hate” the powerful thighs she inherited from me and count calories and cover her body with clothing she didn’t even like, I got rid of the scale, started cooking with her and bought MYSELF a bikini and some new running shorts , which I put on my aging, pregnant, post-c section body and wore unapologetically in public. It wasn’t long until she did too, and never was a glimmer of that insecurity seen nor heard from again! It was a very important and humbling lesson for me, that moment when I realized that I don’t have the right to hate my body while there are young women watching me.
This article aligns well with the advice in the book “Raising girls who like themselves”. I’m so grateful to be learning this approach while my daughter is just a bub!
I especially like the thoughts (1) to understand that your children aren’t “ruined” (2) that you aren’t their only influence. I have an 18 1/2 year old son and 15 year old daughter and it’s been a journey! I believe they were born their own little people with their own personalities and while I’ve certainly had lots of influence it’s probably always a little less than I thought. I’ve consistently chosen relationship over rule (opposite of how my ex parented). And while my kids aren’t perfect, we are a close tight and emotionally safe 3-person little family.
My advice is to practice radical acceptance of your own body/appearance, especially in the areas where she is struggling. When my beautiful preteen daughter began to “hate” the powerful thighs she inherited from me and count calories and cover her body with clothing she didn’t even like, I got rid of the scale, started cooking with her and bought MYSELF a bikini and some new running shorts , which I put on my aging, pregnant, post-c section body and wore unapologetically in public. It wasn’t long until she did too, and never was a glimmer of that insecurity seen nor heard from again! It was a very important and humbling lesson for me, that moment when I realized that I don’t have the right to hate my body while there are young women watching me.