That one was thrown out a lot--especially in the beginning. I started to believe it after awhile. What it really meant: you do whatever I say without question because *I* am the only one who knows what's best.
While in a relationship, "if you think everyone else has a perfect relationship/perfect husband, you're kidding yourself."
Roughly translates to, I have no interest in listening to or meeting any of your needs, so I'd rather convince you you are the crazy one for having reasonable standards for a good relationship. When you talk to your friends and find out that in fact, there are better relationships/husbands out there, no worries, I will just accuse you of emotionally abusing me by talking about me behind my back.
“People survived without all this nonsense women do for Instagram and attention.”
“Men built the world women live in.”
“Men built civilization.”
“Giving women the right to vote was a mistake. Look at the national debt! Just like a woman to spend money she didn’t earn.”
“Women love to complain about men until they need a protector.”
“I stayed home with our kids and it was the easiest thing in the world. I do XYZ and still have time to go to the gym.” (My own point here: men like this never do the most draining parts: the emotional and mental load. Little kids need finely attuned emotional care, which I have virtually never seen even “good dads” give, let alone bros attacking moms on the internet.)
I am always right and I never have to explain my actions. You should accept my decisions and questionable behaviors without any need for discussion or explanation. You have no right to an opinion or say in any problem we encounter or important decision that needs made.
In my situation it meant, we aren’t finished with this conversation until he was ready to be done. I learned how to go someplace else in my mind and tune it out basically until he was done
YOU have said you would, you have agreed, you have told me "in a minute", you have said "I'm right in the middle of a mission & I can't pause" (ugh 🤮🤬), you have asked me to remind you and I have about 100 times.
This helps me so much. I’m divorcing my physically abusive husband and he has said these things about his ex, and will say them about me.
"I know you better than you know yourself"
That one was thrown out a lot--especially in the beginning. I started to believe it after awhile. What it really meant: you do whatever I say without question because *I* am the only one who knows what's best.
While in a relationship, "if you think everyone else has a perfect relationship/perfect husband, you're kidding yourself."
Roughly translates to, I have no interest in listening to or meeting any of your needs, so I'd rather convince you you are the crazy one for having reasonable standards for a good relationship. When you talk to your friends and find out that in fact, there are better relationships/husbands out there, no worries, I will just accuse you of emotionally abusing me by talking about me behind my back.
You would never be where you are today if not for me. Translation: I have no accomplishments so I'm going to appropriate yours.
Zawn bringing the fire with this one. LOVE IT.
I may print this one out and save a copy.
“Women just love to complain.”
“Women just love to invent work.”
“People survived without all this nonsense women do for Instagram and attention.”
“Men built the world women live in.”
“Men built civilization.”
“Giving women the right to vote was a mistake. Look at the national debt! Just like a woman to spend money she didn’t earn.”
“Women love to complain about men until they need a protector.”
“I stayed home with our kids and it was the easiest thing in the world. I do XYZ and still have time to go to the gym.” (My own point here: men like this never do the most draining parts: the emotional and mental load. Little kids need finely attuned emotional care, which I have virtually never seen even “good dads” give, let alone bros attacking moms on the internet.)
“Why do you always pick a fight/argue?”
I am always right and I never have to explain my actions. You should accept my decisions and questionable behaviors without any need for discussion or explanation. You have no right to an opinion or say in any problem we encounter or important decision that needs made.
“You always have to have the last word!”
In my situation it meant, we aren’t finished with this conversation until he was ready to be done. I learned how to go someplace else in my mind and tune it out basically until he was done
"You're abusive to me; yelling is abuse."
I've suggested, I've hinted, I've outright said it, I've asked, I've negotiated, I've pleaded, I've begged.
YOU have said you would, you have agreed, you have told me "in a minute", you have said "I'm right in the middle of a mission & I can't pause" (ugh 🤮🤬), you have asked me to remind you and I have about 100 times.
But sure, I'm abusive for yelling at you