To quote a friends (now ex) boyfriend when he found out I was trying to conceive and heard me mention that it’s perfectly safe to have coffee and exercise and continue to work in the emergency room while pregnant: “jeez, you’re a terrible mother and you don’t even have a kid yet.”
Then he like he was joking. That guy loved to make a lot of jokes about woman. We really should have been better sports about it…
I was pregnant with my daughter twenty years ago (2004), and occasionally find myself in a conversation with a woman friend comparing pregnancy and childbirth stories. It’s astounding and frightening that the experiences we endured were so acceptable. We literally find ourselves saying “Wow, how did we not get treated like humans? How did this happen? Surely that’s abuse/neglect/medical abuse?”.
I started suffering with severe and debilitating Hyperemesis Gravidarum from about 10 weeks, and it grew progressively worse for the entire pregnancy until the baby was shutting my body down; even my liver stopped functioning properly.
Did this mean anyone either husband, family or medical personnel actually thought there was a problem?
Nope. I was in and out of hospital for a while until I was told that I was wasting a hospital bed and I had to manage it at home. This might have been possible if there was any form of support, but apparently anything pregnancy related is just silly women’s stuff. Eventually, during my weekly checkup my GP told me that we needed to get the baby out or I’d die. She sent me to the hospital with a note that I needed a Caesarean immediately. The hospitable, in their wisdom decided that was wrong so tried to induce me....for three days until they decided it wasn’t working. I was in a pretty bad state by then, but that didn’t matter.
So I had to have an emergency Caesarean because “We think the baby may be in distress” (actual quote). Had I been capable of screaming about my distress by then, I would have. Sadly, it got worse.
The wise male doctor (who looked about 12) decided that the baby hadn’t passed her meconium within the first 12 hours and therefore there was a problem. I pointed out that all the books I’d read said that it was usually 24-48 hours but no one cared. The doctor actually told me with a straight face that they had ruled out certain things, such as “We checked and she has an anus, so it’s not that”.
Again I probably would have screamed but I was in no physical state. So they decided to remove her to a specialist children’s hospital immediately. From the hospital I was in- a MAJOR Sydney inner city hospital.
Apparently she did her poo during the trip over but they still wouldn’t return her to me for a week “just in case”.
So the first week of her life was spent away from me.
She developed severe anxiety as a child and still suffers as an adult, to the extent that it’s difficult for her to live a normal life.
I often wonder if it’s related.
Many of my friends have similar horrific stories of being treated as sub humans during childbirth, especially the ones who didn’t have husbands making a fuss.
Out of all the issues we need to change within society, treatment of mothers is only one of them but it’s a huge one.
Fucking hell. I am so sorry you went through all of this. It sounds hellish. And I’m sorry for your friends’ suffering. I’ve never given birth and think it’s vital that women who have done so share their honest accounts. Thank you.
Is it normal that I'm noth laughing and crying? Oh and also dying a little inside as I read this!! The shit we go through because we decide the human race should go on!!
This reminded me of being in the same hospital for three births.
With my first, it was "Its ok to have them in your bed but we prefer if you don't."
With my second I had to sign an indemnity form that cleared the hospital of neglect in case I rolled over onto my baby and killed them while co sleeping.
With my third it was "we recommend co sleeping now go for it!"
I didn't do anything different each time but it was so radically different and experience!
I was somehow not prepared for some sass directed toward The Skeptical OB and I’m SO pleased hahaha, this article covers absolutely all the bases flawlessly ❤️🔥
I seriously love you. Lol. What a great article. I burst out laughing way too many times. Just perfect and perfectly absurd. Just like the reality of it all.
This is perfection. The absolute insanity of motherhood distilled into a post.
This is the best article I have ever read.
Nailed it!
❤️ and also 😭
To quote a friends (now ex) boyfriend when he found out I was trying to conceive and heard me mention that it’s perfectly safe to have coffee and exercise and continue to work in the emergency room while pregnant: “jeez, you’re a terrible mother and you don’t even have a kid yet.”
Then he like he was joking. That guy loved to make a lot of jokes about woman. We really should have been better sports about it…
Wow I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! This is so so good, you fucking shrew!! 😂😂😂
I was pregnant with my daughter twenty years ago (2004), and occasionally find myself in a conversation with a woman friend comparing pregnancy and childbirth stories. It’s astounding and frightening that the experiences we endured were so acceptable. We literally find ourselves saying “Wow, how did we not get treated like humans? How did this happen? Surely that’s abuse/neglect/medical abuse?”.
I started suffering with severe and debilitating Hyperemesis Gravidarum from about 10 weeks, and it grew progressively worse for the entire pregnancy until the baby was shutting my body down; even my liver stopped functioning properly.
Did this mean anyone either husband, family or medical personnel actually thought there was a problem?
Nope. I was in and out of hospital for a while until I was told that I was wasting a hospital bed and I had to manage it at home. This might have been possible if there was any form of support, but apparently anything pregnancy related is just silly women’s stuff. Eventually, during my weekly checkup my GP told me that we needed to get the baby out or I’d die. She sent me to the hospital with a note that I needed a Caesarean immediately. The hospitable, in their wisdom decided that was wrong so tried to induce me....for three days until they decided it wasn’t working. I was in a pretty bad state by then, but that didn’t matter.
So I had to have an emergency Caesarean because “We think the baby may be in distress” (actual quote). Had I been capable of screaming about my distress by then, I would have. Sadly, it got worse.
The wise male doctor (who looked about 12) decided that the baby hadn’t passed her meconium within the first 12 hours and therefore there was a problem. I pointed out that all the books I’d read said that it was usually 24-48 hours but no one cared. The doctor actually told me with a straight face that they had ruled out certain things, such as “We checked and she has an anus, so it’s not that”.
Again I probably would have screamed but I was in no physical state. So they decided to remove her to a specialist children’s hospital immediately. From the hospital I was in- a MAJOR Sydney inner city hospital.
Apparently she did her poo during the trip over but they still wouldn’t return her to me for a week “just in case”.
So the first week of her life was spent away from me.
She developed severe anxiety as a child and still suffers as an adult, to the extent that it’s difficult for her to live a normal life.
I often wonder if it’s related.
Many of my friends have similar horrific stories of being treated as sub humans during childbirth, especially the ones who didn’t have husbands making a fuss.
Out of all the issues we need to change within society, treatment of mothers is only one of them but it’s a huge one.
I don’t even need to go into how society judges the mothering done by single mums, too many of us already know about that.
Fucking hell. I am so sorry you went through all of this. It sounds hellish. And I’m sorry for your friends’ suffering. I’ve never given birth and think it’s vital that women who have done so share their honest accounts. Thank you.
This is infuriating on so many levels. I’m just so sorry. What insane bullshit.
Is it normal that I'm noth laughing and crying? Oh and also dying a little inside as I read this!! The shit we go through because we decide the human race should go on!!
Raise your hand if you too have been personally victimized by the Skeptical OB.
I have been personally and publicly attacked by her and her stupid ass minions.
Same. It's so much fun. Just like motherhood.
Omg please do tell!
Personally attacked, humiliated, endangering and the list goes on.
But don’t forget you wanted this!
Love it
Ooof.
This reminded me of being in the same hospital for three births.
With my first, it was "Its ok to have them in your bed but we prefer if you don't."
With my second I had to sign an indemnity form that cleared the hospital of neglect in case I rolled over onto my baby and killed them while co sleeping.
With my third it was "we recommend co sleeping now go for it!"
I didn't do anything different each time but it was so radically different and experience!
Perfection. 😂😭💜
Oh man I felt this one.
I was somehow not prepared for some sass directed toward The Skeptical OB and I’m SO pleased hahaha, this article covers absolutely all the bases flawlessly ❤️🔥
I seriously love you. Lol. What a great article. I burst out laughing way too many times. Just perfect and perfectly absurd. Just like the reality of it all.