Ruining every vacation with a bad mood: The weapons sexist men use series (paid subscriber bonus)
Ruining every vacation with a bad mood: The weapons sexist men use series (paid subscriber bonus)
Bad moods are a major tool men use to control women. And controlling women on vacation means more down time and rest for him. So of course he's going to be in a "bad mood."
The weather is getting warm (at least in the Northern hemisphere). And that means vacations. It also means millions of couples will spend the next several months arguing in cars, arguing about whether they can argue in front of children, and wondering why the fuck they’re spending yet another miserable trip together.
It’s an experience familiar to just about every woman in a bad relationship with a sexist man when the family goes on vacation:
She plans a vacation. She books the hotel or house rental, the airline tickets, and the petsitter. She hires someone to water the plants, lets the kids’ teachers know when they’ll miss their lessons or school, coordinates to ensure the house is safe, turns off mail delivery, and reschedules any appointments the family will miss while they’re gone.
As the trip draws near, she packs for the entire family. This doesn’t just include clothes and basic necessities, but also probably some travel entertainment for the kids, some cherished stuffies, and basic needs for the chosen destination, such as sunscreen and a beach bag for the beach. She’ll do a bunch of laundry before the family leaves, and will likely clean the house so that they don’t return to a trashed home.
She’ll make a list of last-minute things that must be packed. She’ll develop a transition plan for any kids who are anxious about travel. She’ll get the kids dressed the day of the trip, ensure they have all the entertainment they need in the car or on the plane, and prepare everyone to leave at the appointed time.
When it is time to leave, he will announce he has to poop. This will somehow take 20 minutes. He may also come up with a panicked and irrelevant task he must do at the last minute, such as putting more nails in the mailbox or reconfiguring his computer setup. He will then be irritated that the family departs late, and chastise everyone—already waiting for him in the car—that “Next time we need to plan better.”
He will, it seems, think that an elf packed his suitcase and all the items his children needs.
And then, at some point on the trip, the Bad Mood arrives.
This is part of a series of bonus content for paid subscribers in which I address some of the weapons men use to deflect blame and avoid accountability. Previous pieces in this series have included:
The weapons sexist men use in fights: “We just have different standards!”
The weapons sexist men use in fights: Blaming women for their reactions to bad behavior
The weapons men use in fights: “You’re never satisfied with anything!”
The arguments sexist men use in fights—and what they really mean
The most important tool men use to maintain household labor inequality
The weapons men use in fights: “You’re so controlling! Stop policing me!”